Dating Archives | Page 2 Of 3

Build Your Best Dating Profile in 7 Steps

Unlock better matches with our expert guide to crafting a standout profile

We know the process of creating dating profile, or entering the world of online dating, can be really overwhelming. Whether you’re about to download, or have already onboarded to FFWD, here are our tips for creating the best profile, by you, for you.

1. Be truthful in onboarding.

This might be obvious, but it’s not entirely uncommon to fudge things like age and height when onboarding. While some of these things can later be adjusted, age is usually really hard to go back and fix on a dating app (it usually requires a bureaucratic process, completely recreating your account, and, in some cases, can get you banned). At FFWD, we’ve automatically built into our profile onboarding requirements that protect against misrepresentation (filters, uploading doctored content), but this isn’t the way to go, no matter what platform you’re using. Whether you’re a young 40 misrepresenting a 35 year old, or a 5’9” guy misrepresenting as 6’, there’s nothing worse than starting off a connection on a trail of white lies. If you’re going on dates with the right kinds of people for you, you’ll find that lying about these things proves useless – they’ll like you regardless.

2. Focus on giving potential matches the right insight into who you are

At FFWD, we refuse to believe that people are one, or two, dimensional. No matter what kind of dating app you’re onboarding to, though, it’s important to craft your profile in a way that actually represents you. How would your friends describe you? Your family? Your profile should show a tasteful amount of that. Anyone who’s defining trait is that they’re hot, is boring. While profiles that center entirely on having hot photos might get lots of swipe rights from bots, they’re terrible fodder for genuine connection. We use video to address this issue, but it’s important to use video as a tool to let your true self shine.

3. Is there anything that’s important to you? Let ‘em know.

Most dating apps (ours included) offer prompts and bios to let people express interests, passions, hobbies. Within a scroll of your profile, I should have a rough sense of what you’re about. What do you do for fun (other than eat or drink)? Or, if ALL you do is eat and drink, what’s the best thing you ate recently? Do you cook? Etc. I should be able to ask you, or joke with you, about something other than: work, your pet, or your Sunday morning hangover. When onboarding to FFWD you can video to talk about the things you care about, and start conversations that will actually excite you, as opposed to just small talk.

4. Nostalgia, and quirks, are great fodder for dating profiles

What’s one thing about your childhood or adolescence that you’ve held onto, or look back at and think “what the actual f***?” Let me start with mine. I was o b s e s s e d with Britney Spears as a pre-schooler. Loved a good crop top and lowcut jeans. She was my idol. Now you know something about me that’s a little embarrassing, a little funny, but doesn’t give you a chance to play on my present insecurities. Online dating is weird. It’s funny. It’s fun, and nostalgia and quirks are a great way to let your true colors peak out, without revealing too much.

5. Don’t reveal too much

I don’t want to be reading novellas about your life story. If you’ve lived in 15 different countries, I shouldn’t be forced to memorize them throughout the course of your profile. I don’t need to know about your daddy issues, or other general traumas. Leave some discussion for the date itself. If your profile starts reading like a long form article, or a movie that requires an intermission, it’s time for a re-write. Think of your profile as a trailer for you – you can’t give the whole plot up if you want people to watch the movie.

6. Avoid cliches

You may really love the office. You really might. I’m thrilled for you. So does every other man on every other dating app. While videos profiles on FFWD are designed to eliminate these repeat responses, be conscious of them. Anything about pineapple on pizza, spicy margs, or espresso martinis is also out. Highly replicable answers, while sometimes funny, are an instant “no” because they don’t set you apart from the crowd. If your profile reads like “Hot take… but I like X thing (that literally EVERYONE likes) or I hate X thing (that literally EVERYONE hates), back to the drawing board. A good litmus test is that if you can think of 5-10 people in your immediate circle that are liable to include the exact same prompt, it needs to go.

7. Phone a friend.

Creating an online dating profile can be a really fun exercise, albeit overwhelming, in better understanding what sets you apart from the crowd. If you’re overwhelmed, sometimes the best thing you can do is go thru the process with someone who knows you well (and sees how wonderful you are!) Feedback from good friends on your dating profile is a surefire way to ensure that it’s accurate and representative of the real you.

Online dating gets a bad rap for being a drag, but a lot of that sentiment really comes from the experience of swimming thru bad profiles, and bad dates. At FFWD, we believe that great profiles lead to better dates, and better dating experiences. Whether you’re a seasoned dater, or this is your first pass at dating online, dating success starts in large part with you, your intentions and expectations, and creating a profile that sets you up for better connections. Don’t hesitate to reach out to our team at info@ffwd-dating.com and we can put you in touch with our FFWD network of dating coaches who can help you create a stronger profile, and date better.

Late Summer NYC Date Ideas: 5 Ways for Beating the Heat and Heating up Romance!

Uncover the world of possibilities in the city that never sleeps

The end of summer in the Big Apple: it’s like Mother Nature can’t decide whether to give us one last sizzling summer fling or unleash an out-of-nowhere downpour. The struggle is real, and when you’re out on the dating scene – between the makeup meltdowns that leave us looking like a Picasso painting and sweat patches the size of Central Park – it’s like dodging metaphorical raindrops. But hey, this is NEW YORK CITY. It’s not just a city that never sleeps, it also has a ton of tricks up its sleeve to help us have a great time and not let weather get in the way. So here are five sizzling-cool NYC date ideas to crank up the heat on your romance while keeping your cool vibes.

1. Explore low-key gems on the Lower East Side.

Ready to dazzle your date? Start by unlocking the secrets of the LES. Looking to impress? Parcelle is your golden ticket, renowned as the “cool kids’ wine spot” by none other than Vogue. Get ready to raise a glass (or two) of natural wine that’ll have you sipping in style. But that’s just the beginning. Keep the momentum rolling without breaking a sweat. There are all sorts of spots very closeby. After the sun goes down, you can sit outside at Reception Bar, Le Dive, or Casetta, grab a bite at Kiki’s, or catch a film at the Metrograph.

2. Make Museum Magic for a Friday Night Date.

Looking for a Friday night date idea that captivates your date’s artistic and cultural side? Museum Fridays are your jam. While it’s no classified information that The Whitney welcomes you for free from 7pm to 10pm, we’re taking you beyond the obvious. The Morgan Library in midtown, however, is a lesser-known (and bite-sized) gem. The perfect size museum for a date, the Morgan Library offers a variety of historical and art exhibits, and can be conquered in an hour so you can scurry off to drinks. Its discounted hours are 5pm-7pm on Fridays.

3. Indulge in a Bookworm’s Paradise.

Let your literary desires run wild at Book Club, nestled in the heart of the East Village. Beyond the charming façade lies a haven for bookworms where pages of potential love stories await. Snag a coveted garden spot if you can, and let the discussions flow as freely as the drinks. It’s a match made in bookish heaven – and if you’re feeling peckish, they’ve got you covered. Trust us, there’s nothing cooler than bonding over a shared love for the written word.

4. Savor Indoor Market Delights.

When you want to feel like a date night filled with culinary adventures, turn your attention to the city’s plethora of international food-markets. You’ll feel transported to their European equivalents but with the bonus of air-conditioning. Take the plunge at TimeOut Market in Dumbo, soak in the flavors at Mercado Little Spain in Hudson Yards, savor the diverse delights at Market 57 Food Hall, or embark on an Italian escapade at the original Eataly. Pro tip: dive into a delicious challenge by having you and your date picking three delectable dishes each. Your taste buds will thank you.

5. Ditch the Latte and Go for the Gelato.

Enough with the coffee dates and take advantage of the last few weeks of the official ice cream season. Treat yourself and your date to ice cream at your favorite spot. Dive into dairy-free indulgence at Van Leeuwen or explore the tantalizing treats at Caffe Panna, Caleta, or iconic spots like Morgensterns, Emack & Bolios, and Sugar Hill. Not an ice cream enthusiast? Fear not – Matha’s Bakeshop in Williamsburg awaits to serve up a different kind of sweetness late into the night.

So there you have it – a whirlwind of August adventures that won’t leave you dripping, but certainly drenched in the thrill of romance and NYC adventures.

Authenticity in Online Dating: Why imperfection guarantees better matches than any filter

Just be you, silly!

If you’ve just emerged from a twenty-year slumber, welcome back to the wild world of today! Things have changed, and one significant transformation is how people present themselves, especially in the realm of online dating. With high-tech phones and photo-editing tools, anyone can create a digital facade that differs dramatically from reality.

But if you’ve been awake all along, you’re probably well aware of this phenomenon. A trip to the r/IntagramReality subreddit shows how many people distort images of themselves on Instagram, sometimes looking like different people altogether. Mostly, though, they’re laughably bad examples of photo editing with distorted backgrounds or frightening, Picasso-ish aberrations.

But even if not that extreme, In today’s digital age, it’s easier than ever to be inauthentic. You no longer have to be yourself, not if you don’t want to be. This is the central premise of the popular TV show “Catfish,” where individuals adopt fake online personas, only to reveal their true selves when they meet in person. This disconnect between online and real-life identities leads to heartbreak, drama, and plenty of entertainment for MTV viewers.

While Catfish is an extreme example, many of us engage in a milder form of this behavior from time to time. It’s called kittenfishing: making yourself seem more desirable on a dating app. It’s not outright lying about your identity, like catfishing, but altering your appearance on your dating profile radically from what you’re like in person (posting photos with deceptive angles or from years ago, lying about age, height or occupation, or wearing hats to cover up baldness) or bending the truth in other ways to seem more desirable (fibbing your occupation or hobbies).

There’s no need to pass judgment here because we’re all guilty of it to some extent. We engage in kittenfishing because we’re chasing the illusion of perfection and seeking validation in the form of likes on dating apps.

However, perfection is something that’s sold to us; it’s not an achievable goal. And being “perfect” doesn’t necessarily make you more desirable. For example, studies have shown that we are more likely to find asymmetrical faces more attractive than symmetrical ones. That is, our perception of what is perfect is subjective and not actually universally appealing.

Rejection, although painful, is a natural part of life. If it makes you feel any better, even those who appear “perfect” face rejection. And while being rejected after being “real” with someone is like being stung by a hive of bees when you have a bee allergy, in the dating context, it’s much better to be rejected early on than to invest time in someone who doesn’t have any interest in the real-life, authentic you!

Everyone deserves love and acceptance for who they truly are. It takes courage to be authentic, especially when facing the possibility of rejection. However, it is also the only surefire way to find someone who genuinely appreciates and loves you for being yourself. When you find that person, it’s like witnessing a fireworks display of genuine connection and understanding.

Being yourself leads to a more honest understanding of who you are, creating a first date experience that is confident and free of mismatched expectations. It increases the likelihood of a better first date, a second date, and a more fulfilling dating experience overall. So, in the world of online dating, embracing your imperfections and showcasing your authentic self can lead to the most meaningful connections.

So. In a world where authenticity shines brighter than any digital filter, being yourself is the compass that guides you to genuine connections, ensuring that your search for love is an unapologetically true and rewarding journey.

3 Lessons on Self-Discovery and Relationships We Learned from the Barbie Movie!

Unveiling the Barbie-tastic Secrets to Finding Love and Embracing Your Inner You-nicorn.

Welcome to the year of The Barbie Movie, where everything is pink, sparkly, and utterly fabulous (thank you, Greta Gerwig)! As we see the world through the pink kaleidoscope of Barbie’s world, we can’t help but notice how it appeals to different audiences in various ways.

For the younger fans, it’s a magical spectacle filled with dazzling glitz and glamor that leaves their eyes twinkling like the brightest stars. For the adult audience, Barbie’s story touches deeper chords, addressing the struggles and triumphs of women and celebrating the unbreakable bond between mothers and daughters. Yet, beyond these obvious lessons, we’ve also uncovered a few gems that offer invaluable wisdom for our dating escapades. Here are our top three lessons on relationships and self-discovery.

Lesson 1: Embrace Your Uniqueness

While individuality might not be the first thing that pops into your mind when you think of the “classic” Barbie, in Greta Gerwig’s Barbie world, it takes center stage. The movie celebrates the importance of identity in various ways, from their unique styles to their pursuit of different interests and journeys of self-discovery. Just like many of us, in the movie, no two Barbies are the same, and that’s the magic!

So when it comes to dating, toss aside any notions of being a clone. Be the radiant you-nicorn you were born to be! Dare to be authentic: show off your quirks, flaunt your passions, and embrace your personal expression. Remember, you’re “Kenough” as you are.

Lesson 2: Embrace the Journey: Discovering Beauty in Transformative Experiences

In Barbie’s picture-perfect world, life seems like a dream filled with glitz and glamour. However, beneath the dazzling facade, she discovers a longing for something deeper and more meaningful. Despite the challenges of being a woman, she embraces the journey that’s more dynamic than just one color, even if it’s bright pink and happy.

Barbie reminds us that the beauty of life lies in the transformative experiences – even ones that produce tears – and we should step into vulnerable challenges with open hearts, recognizing that each experience, whether joyous or challenging, has the potential to deeply impact and empower us in profound ways.

Just like Barbie, we can dare to step out of our comfort zones and embrace vulnerability, recognizing that the journey of dating can be one of enriching self-discovery and growth. Instead of fixating solely on the end result or superficial connections, let’s approach dating as an adventure of self-discovery. Venture beyond the shiny surface of first impressions and fleeting encounters. So treat each experience as a valuable lesson, embrace the ups and downs, and let each step enrich your understanding of love and yourself. After all, just like Barbie’s world, the magic lies not only in the destination but in the enchanting journey itself!

Lesson 3: Embrace Vulnerability

In Barbie’s enchanting world, we witness a powerful lesson about the beauty of vulnerability. Beyond her picture-perfect facade, Barbie’s refreshingly honest and open about her insecurities and uncertainties. She embarks on a journey of self-discovery, seeking something deeper beyond the glitz and glamor. This teaches us that the power of authenticity can lead to more genuine connections and stronger relationships, both with ourselves and those around us.

In the realm of dating, it’s easy to put on a facade, projecting an image of flawless perfection to impress potential partners. However, just like Barbie’s willingness to share her vulnerabilities, allowing ourselves to be authentic and open about our feelings and uncertainties can create a stronger bond.

And no, embracing vulnerability doesn’t mean exposing every detail of your life on the first date. Instead, it’s about sharing your thoughts, fears, and dreams with genuine sincerity. When you open up to someone and allow them to see the real you, it fosters a deeper level of connection and understanding.

So, in this Barbie-tastic symphony of love and self-discovery, the lessons are simple yet profound. Embrace your uniqueness, challenge the status quo, and unlock the power of vulnerability. Be the empowered Barbie of your dating journey – fearless, genuine, and authentic.

The #1 Key Tip for Success in Dating: Putting In The Right Kind of Effort

A sprinkle of effort can create a heap of magic.

Hey there, all you lovely daters. Gather ‘round because we’re about to reveal a major tip for success in dating. So buckle up, grab a snack, and let’s get started

First things first, let’s talk about the most important ingredient in a successful dating life – EFFORT. Yeah, we know, it sounds like common sense, but hear us out. Dating is like baking a cake; if you miss some essential ingredients, it’s not going to turn out the way you want it to.

And just like sugar is essential to cake, effort is crucial to make the dating come out right; without it, your dating life is going to be bland and tasteless, and no one wants that. And we’re not talking about the effort of just swiping right and left mindlessly or simply showing up to dates. We’re talking about putting in the right kind of effort.

We’ve heard people complain about daters being slow to respond to communication, showing up late to a date, looking sloppy, being inattentive to the conversation, not being present by checking their phone, and a whole lot more. But it all boils down to one thing: a lack of effort. Come on, people, try a little harder!

Let’s go back to our cake example. Imagine you have all the ingredients you need to bake a delicious cake, but you realize your flour is expired. You don’t feel like going out to buy fresh flour, so you use the stale stash you have. You’re putting in the effort, but it’s not going to turn out the way you want it to. The same thing goes for dating; if you’re not putting in the effort to make yourself look great or engage in the conversation, it’s not going to turn out the way you want it to.

And, no, the right kind of effort in dating doesn’t involve mere endless swiping or even making grand gestures. It means finding the right person by putting in the time to know them, making plans, being responsive, showing up on time, looking your best, choosing a safe and convenient meeting place, and keeping the momentum going. Be complimentary, communicate consistently, be present, and show your vulnerable side.

And if the effort is not reciprocated, move on. The right person will put in the effort, too. Think of it as a way to gauge someone’s character. If they can’t put in a little effort to build a relationship, they’re not the right partner for you.

So, put on your aprons, people, and get ready to bake some sweet, sweet love! And remember, just like baking a cake, it won’t be perfect every time, but with the right effort, you’ll eventually end up with a dating life that’s as satisfying as a freshly baked cake.

Now go out there, and show the world what you’ve got!

Why You Should Be Open to Dating Outside Your Type.

You might just learn a thing or two about yourself.

When it comes to dating, we’re all a bit like Indiana Jones. (No, that doesn’t mean you should bring a whip to a first date.) Dating is a dangerous adventure into the unknown, a new experience with new people — and most of us are looking for our own “Holy Grail” person.

When people envision the actual Holy Grail chalice, they picture a fancy golden goblet adorned with fancy jewels and textures. And much like our romanticized version of the sacred chalice, our own Holy Grail romantic partner is, metaphorically, made of gold and adorned with gemstones. That is, we make a mental image of our ideal type and tell ourselves that’s who we should be with.

The funny thing about the actual Holy Grail, if it existed, is that it would have been made of wood. It’s just a wooden wine cup. You probably wouldn’t think anything of it if you saw it.

The point is, sometimes the most special and valuable things aren’t anything like what we expected. That applies to romantic prospects too.

That’s why we advise you to stop “groundhogging” and screw your “type” (ignore the pun, please)—and don’t take that out of context. When you narrow your dating life down to one “type,” you predetermine the things you’re looking for, and they might not always be the right things. If your type is “long, tan, and handsome,” you might end up dating… well, this guy:

Here are just a few awesome benefits of dating someone outside your “type”.

1. You open yourself up to more possibilities.

By ditching your type, you’re expanding your dating horizon exponentially. After all, there are 7 billion people in the world — most of them aren’t going to be your “dream” person, but they might still be amazing partners.

Obviously, you’re going to have some dealbreakers, we all do. You shouldn’t ignore those, but does the color of someone’s hair really matter that much or their height? People are interesting, and the more of them you get to know, the more you’ll learn.

2. You could learn something new about yourself or pick up some new hobbies and interests.

Sure, it’s nice to date someone who enjoys movies as much as you do, but have you ever tried salsa dancing? Sometimes people push you out of your comfort zone, but your comfort zone is holding you back! You know what’s comfortable? Sitting on the couch in a robe with a tub of ice cream. You probably shouldn’t do that every day. Sometimes, we need someone to come along and make us do something new. You might even find something you like.

Oh, and by the way, anything can be fun with the right person. It’s a pretty good test of how compatible you are.

3. Even if it doesn’t work out, you may become more flexible in your dating approach.

Okay, so maybe everything went up in smoke after all, but you may actually learn something about yourself and what’s truly important to look for the next time around. Maybe you realize that someone’s job matters a lot less than how often they make you laugh, or that you need someone who knows how to calm you down when you’re stressed without trying to fix everything for you.

There are probably a million examples, but at the end of the day, the only way you’ll learn what you need is by first learning what you don’t. Give it a try.

Dating different types of people makes us more open-minded and diverse. It opens us up to new experiences that help us learn and grow as people, meaning we can gain new perspectives and develop more empathy.

We can all use that these days.

Who Pays on the First Date? A Modern Conundrum When Dating the Opposite Sex.

The Battle of the Bill. Navigating the dating minefield.

In the era of modern feminism and calls for gender equality, the question of who pays on a first date has become a sticky and confusing matter.

Traditionally, at least for an opposite-sex couple, the norms of courtship have mandated that the man pay for the first date … in the name of chivalry and generosity.

But in the age of independent women and progressive attitudes, things are not so cut and dried. Some women prefer to split the bill, while others insist on covering the whole thing.

So what’s an upstanding gentleman (or gal) to do? Here is one perspective that we humbly offer for you to consider. Find a balance between modern ideas of equality and good old-fashioned notions.

Perhaps, to diffuse some anxiety around who gets the check, as a default, the person “inviting” should pay. For better or worse, in an opposite-sex relationship, that tends to be the guy. (New York magazine recently hilariously declared “if you penetrate, you pay” in #12 of their Etiquette Rules).

In reality, when it comes down to it, both parties might reach for their wallets at the end of a date, though the woman may be merely making a polite gesture in the familiar first-date-check dance. But as long as the guy’s offer seems firm and genuine, most gals will accept his act of generosity and see it as a positive sign that the date went well.

But what if she determinedly says “I’ve got this” or offers to contribute? Do you battle for the check or let her pay? Gentlemen, may we suggest that you first triple check that this is not still part of her gesture by assuring her you will cover it and thanking her for the offer. Just please don’t say, “Are you sure?” This puts undue pressure on her to agree to halfsies or pay even if she was just just being polite by offering. Don’t do it.

If she continues to insist though, then please respect her wishes. Perhaps you either split the bill or let her pay. If you’re keen to see her again, you can always try to get it next time!

In the end, it’s not about who pays, but about spending quality time with someone you’re interested in getting to know.

So put down your wallet, relax, and let the conversation (and your personality) flow – who knows where it will take you?

Selfish Lovers: Why They’re a Relationship Red Flag

Trust us, if they’re not attentive to your needs during sex, they wont be a better partner outside the bedroom.

A selfish lover – ugh! If you’re one of the unfortunate individuals who’ve been with one, you know where we’re coming from. But if you’re lucky enough not to have encountered an egotistical paramour, let us paint the picture.

You’re getting intimate for the first time with a hottie you’ve been dating for [insert some “appropriate” amount of time] and you’re super stoked to finally test out your chemistry in the bedroom. Though first-time sex can be awkward and vulnerable, you’re still bringing your A-game. Most importantly, you’re trying to ensure that your partner is satisfied. But alas, despite the fact that you’ve been attentive and made an effort to please them, they don’t seem to care about your pleasure. They don’t check in, they don’t ask, they don’t seem to care or notice. What.The.Wha?!

Could their selfish actions in the bedroom offer valuable insight into what kind of partner they might be in a relationship, whether casual or serious?

In short, YES – a selfish lover is a significant relationship red flag.

Understanding what’s not a red flag

Before diving deeper, let’s clarify what doesn’t qualify as a red flag. We’re not suggesting that someone is terrible just because your initial sexual encounters aren’t mind-blowing or you don’t reach climax. First-time experiences are typically filled with jitters, insecurities, and trial-and-error. We all have our unique preferences in bed, and it’s natural to be out of sync initially. The good news is that sex often improves with time, practice, and open communication.

Additionally, we don’t mean to cast aspersions on the less experienced lovers. Learning to be great at sex is a journey, and if you encounter someone at the beginning of their sexual exploration, being patient and understanding can lead to a rewarding experience.

Spotting the Selfish Lover

The red flag we’re addressing is the selfish lover who prioritizes their needs and disregards yours. They believe their mere presence should bring you pleasure without making any effort to reciprocate. They love receiving but won’t give. They reach their own satisfaction without inquiring about yours. In this scenario, it’s all about them, and you feel like a supporting actor in your own story.

While this behavior may be an initial faux pas – that is, it’s not characteristic of their normal behavior during sex – beware if their inattentiveness is a pattern that occurs repeatedly. If, for example, the second time around they still only care about their own gratification —- that’s a P-R-O-B-L-E-M. And if you do eventually provide pleasure cues and how-to-satisfy-you instructions and they completely disregard them —- that’s E-G-R-E-G-I-O-U-S!

Why Selfish Sex Matters Beyond the Bedroom

Some may dismiss selfish behavior, thinking, “It’s just sex; they can still be a great partner otherwise.” However, selfish behavior in bed is indicative of how they might behave outside of it.

Selfish sex behavior, beyond causing sexual frustration and insecurity, is an indicator of what type of partner the person will be outside the bedroom.

Sex is a shared experience and both parties should be aware and mindful of each other’s needs and wants. Your partner’s failure to be attentive and care during sex can lead you to feel disconnected, neglected, and insecure. And if they do that in context of the most vulnerable and intimate instances, they’re likely to make you feel the same way in the rest of the relationship. This is the type of partner who will make his own plans without taking you into account; the kind that may apologize when they’ve hurt you but then continues to engage in behavior that causes you pain; the kind that will run out for an errand in the morning while you’re sleeping and comes back without a cup of coffee for you. You know the type.

In the end, with this kind of partner, you’ll feel unfulfilled in all aspects of your relationship. A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, communication, and a willingness to prioritize each other’s happiness. If your partner consistently fails to meet these criteria in the bedroom, it’s a strong indication that they will also fall short in other aspects of the relationship.

So here is our advice: don’t make the mistake of investing your time in a selfish lover. They’ll be just as disappointing with their clothes on. You deserve someone who values your pleasure and happiness as much as their own.

Let’s talk about sex, baby: 3 Tips For Discussing Intimacy with a New partner

Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be…

When it comes to discussing intimacy with a new partner, Salt-N-Pepa’s sex-positive anthem “Let’s Talk About Sex” from the 90s serves as a reminder that conversations around this topic can be uncomfortable yet essential. Addressing subjects such as safe sex, positive and negative aspects of intimacy, and the discomfort that often accompanies the conversation, the song contributed to making discussions about sex less taboo. In this blog post, we delve into the importance of talking about sex with your romantic prospects and offer tips for initiating these conversations.

The Significance of Sexual Compatibility

While online dating profiles commonly feature categories like relationship goals and desire for children, sexual preferences and needs are often too complex to categorize neatly. Nevertheless, the significance of sex in a romantic relationship – whether in a situationship, a partnership, or a marriage – cannot be overlooked. Beyond the physical aspect, sexual intimacy fosters a unique emotional connection with a partner. Thus, sexual compatibility encompassing preferences, desires, and styles becomes pivotal in a fulfilling relationship. Conversely, sexual incompatibility can raise a pink flag.

Initiating the Conversation

So you should definitely be talking about sex with your romantic prospects and you should be doing it early on. We don’t mean to imply that you should list out your kinks and fantasies over a second-date coffee. But just like with other aspects of dating, you should share your basic likes, dislikes and expectations so that you can determine whether you’re on the same page. Even if you don’t discuss it before your first intimate encounter, you should find the right opportunity to articulate (whether non-verbally or expressly) what would make you feel good, especially if you aren’t feeling satisfied. It’s all in how you say it. (By the way, if they don’t listen, it’s a good litmus test for how they’ll be in the relationship).

For example, if you’re looking for a serious relationship and they’re just looking to casually date, you’ll likely end things. But what if you both want to be in a relationship (check ✔) yet when it comes to sex they don’t like foreplay while you get most of your – ahem – “satisfaction” from the buildup (editorial note: that example is from personal experience)? Unless they’re open to fulfilling your desires, you’ll be in a pretty unfulfilling relationship. And even if that’s fine for a little while, the frustration will eventually boil over.

While talking about sex is hard – it can feel even more vulnerable than the act itself – communication about sex is often a gateway to good communication elsewhere in a relationship. Difficult topics are difficult topics and we need to learn to tackle them with our partner.

To make the sex discussion less awkward, establish trust and intimacy first with easier conversations, say about consent or contraception. Then move on to more meatier topics. Ultimately, creating a dialogue about basic sexual needs and expectations opens the door to sharing deeper and more intimate desires and fantasies. And being open and transparent about these things should only help strengthen your relationship.

So have the conversation about sex, baby! You’ll thank us.

Extra! Extra! Here Are the 2 Dating Trends That You Should Follow to Slay Your Dating Life.

Real Talk: Nobody’s out here to play games.

To say the least, the past two years have been weird. We went from our routine in-person interactions to a sudo-metaverse existence in a matter of days. Since then, we’ve been caught in a strange limbo.

Yet it wasn’t entirely all a dumpster fire. Spending a lot of time alone has given us an opportunity to gain some important perspectives. We were forced to re-evaluate our priorities and wants — and it turns out that most of us want something new. New types of jobs, new experiences (including in the bedroom, thanks for the intel, Cosmo), and, for those of us who are single, a new relationship.

But in a post-apocalypse dating world, we aren’t looking for casual, superficial paramours. We’re dating with the intention of finding a meaningful partner.

In other words, the games are done and authenticity and meaningful bonds are on the rise. Daters know what they want — and what they don’t — and they’re branching out of their comfort zones to find it.

So if you’re like us and are ready to ride the post-vaccination relationship boom, here’s a look at two dating trends that we think can help guide your journey.

Fast-Forwarding

No, we didn’t just pick this one for the name — it really is the most significant dating trend expected in 2022. So what is it?

“Fast-forwarding” (also referred to as “hardballing“) means looking ahead and considering whether a potential partner fits into the life you see yourself living in the future.

This lets us avoid wasting time on bad dates and incompatible partners. That means prioritizing emotional availability and focusing less on appearance. And it does seem obvious — looks can easily change, but a supportive partner will be a stable companion for the ages.

Fast-forwarding also normalizes the uncomfortable conversations about what we want, and being far more upfront with our partners about it, sooner. Further, that means being forthcoming as our wants and needs change. Nobody’s expected to be the same person year after year. Life changes us, situations change us, people change us, and our needs change, too.

We always encourage people to be honest about their needs and communicate them with their partners, and the trend of fast-forwarding shows that people are starting to do this from the very beginning.

‘Oystering’

Oystering is another breakout trend going into the new year, but what does it mean?

Well, it’s pretty simple: “oystering” means remaining consciously single — or maybe a better way to put it is “being single, consciously.” No more dating for the sake of dating! Instead, you pursue someone only when you’re ready and you feel a real, emotional connection with them.

Our advice? If you’re just getting out of a relationship, take time to realign yourself, release emotional baggage weighing you, and figure out what you want and need. And when you’re ready to get back out there, do it with intention!

Looking Ahead

Though trends come and go, “fast-forwarding” and “oystering” will likely have staying power in light of what the harrowing last two years have taught us: life’s too short to waste on something that’s purely superficial.

So seek out real connections and genuine relationships that challenge you in the right ways. Partners should open our eyes to new possibilities and experiences.