Category: Blog
The #1 Key Tip for Success in Dating: Putting In The Right Kind of Effort
A sprinkle of effort can create a heap of magic.
Hey there, all you lovely daters. Gather ‘round because we’re about to reveal a major tip for success in dating. So buckle up, grab a snack, and let’s get started
First things first, let’s talk about the most important ingredient in a successful dating life – EFFORT. Yeah, we know, it sounds like common sense, but hear us out. Dating is like baking a cake; if you miss some essential ingredients, it’s not going to turn out the way you want it to.
And just like sugar is essential to cake, effort is crucial to make the dating come out right; without it, your dating life is going to be bland and tasteless, and no one wants that. And we’re not talking about the effort of just swiping right and left mindlessly or simply showing up to dates. We’re talking about putting in the right kind of effort.
We’ve heard people complain about daters being slow to respond to communication, showing up late to a date, looking sloppy, being inattentive to the conversation, not being present by checking their phone, and a whole lot more. But it all boils down to one thing: a lack of effort. Come on, people, try a little harder!
Let’s go back to our cake example. Imagine you have all the ingredients you need to bake a delicious cake, but you realize your flour is expired. You don’t feel like going out to buy fresh flour, so you use the stale stash you have. You’re putting in the effort, but it’s not going to turn out the way you want it to. The same thing goes for dating; if you’re not putting in the effort to make yourself look great or engage in the conversation, it’s not going to turn out the way you want it to.
And, no, the right kind of effort in dating doesn’t involve mere endless swiping or even making grand gestures. It means finding the right person by putting in the time to know them, making plans, being responsive, showing up on time, looking your best, choosing a safe and convenient meeting place, and keeping the momentum going. Be complimentary, communicate consistently, be present, and show your vulnerable side.
And if the effort is not reciprocated, move on. The right person will put in the effort, too. Think of it as a way to gauge someone’s character. If they can’t put in a little effort to build a relationship, they’re not the right partner for you.
So, put on your aprons, people, and get ready to bake some sweet, sweet love! And remember, just like baking a cake, it won’t be perfect every time, but with the right effort, you’ll eventually end up with a dating life that’s as satisfying as a freshly baked cake.
Now go out there, and show the world what you’ve got!
Confidence Doesn’t Mean Changing Who You Are; It’s About Embracing Who You are 100%.
Real confidence is about embracing who you are 100%.
First dates are awkward. We get it, we do. You want to impress. You’ve put on your nicest garbs, picked a casual—but trendy—place to meet up, and had a pep-talk with yourself in the mirror. You’ve taken all the steps necessary to seem confident, and you’re only missing one thing: confidence.
You might be thinking, What if I make a joke and they don’t laugh? What if I grab a drink and the ice hits my face? What if my chair makes a farting-like noise, and even though I laugh and say it’s the chair, I can tell they don’t believe me? Well, maybe not exactly the last one, but you get the idea about pre-date jitters. It’s normal, if only there were some fool-proof way to impress your date and exude confidence, despite these jitters.
It’s the 21st century—grab your phone, do some Googling, ask the internet “how to be confident,” and you might get some advice like this: Stand tall, make eye contact, don’t fidget, speak slowly and clearly, and keep your hands visible.
In other words, act like you’re under arrest and trying to appear sober. Sexy!
Let’s be real, you’re not going to find any good “hacks” online to make yourself more confident. Confidence comes from knowing who you are, what you like, and what your values are—nobody online can tell you the things you should know about yourself. And if you don’t know these things, then you need to learn them. More importantly, you need to embrace them.
Sure, maybe you can “fake it till you make it,” but if you’re trying to establish a genuine connection with somebody, you shouldn’t be “faking it” at all.
Confidence isn’t having good posture or winning a staring contest; it’s being able to say, “This is me. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. Gonna let the light shiiine on meeeee.”
What can I say? Camp Rock is profound.
On a serious note, though, look at celebrities who successfully wield their “awkward charm:” Michael Cera, Tom Holland, Bo Burnham, John Mulaney, Aubrey Plaza, Jennifer Lawrence, Kristen Stewart—the list goes on because awkwardness is not the opposite of confidence. In fact, owning your discomfort and awkwardness can be an incredible display of confidence.
Michael Cera (Superbad, June) made the line “I’m in lesbians with you” endearing. Remember that.
It’s easy to pretend you’re someone else online. For a lot of people, it’s easier than being who they really are—but they struggle to carry that same, fake confidence into real life. Even if they don’t, at some point you have to exhale and shed the fake persona.
In person, you have to be you. Unedited, unfiltered you. It can be scary, but that’s not a bad thing. As Ted Mosby says, “If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing anyway?”
Love is a risk, always. Rejection hurts. If you’re going on a date, you’re taking a chance on someone else, diving headfirst into something that could end a million different ways. You need to be willing to take that same chance on yourself.
Loving and embracing yourself for all of your quirks, flaws, and eccentricities is just as scary as asking someone else to do the same. It’s also the most important thing you can do.
Don’t change yourself to feel more confident. Be true to yourself, and confidence will follow. You will be pleasantly surprised how that takes you in your dating life.
Video Killed the Photo Star: 7 Reasons Why FFWD’s In-App Video Profiles Are the Only Way to Date
It’s time to upgrade your dating life with FFWD’s fun & easy video profiles.
If you’re one of 42 million Americans who use dating apps to find a partner, you’re likely familiar with the joys of online dating. And by “joys” we mean the odious feelings of frustration and disillusionment that results from the tedious cycle of swiping, matching, and unmatching.
First there is the endless loop of matches that go nowhere. And even if you finally meet up with someone after weeks of texting – not to mention the time-consuming date prep rituals – it’s a giant heap of disappointment when their online profile doesn’t match the real-life person in front of you.
Beyond the physical disparities, charisma and personality that shines through online often falls flat in person, and those elusive “human intangibles” like vibe and character can’t be captured in a few carefully curated photos or cleverly crafted messages. As a result, we end up picking the wrong people based on superficial qualities or missing out on potentially great matches whose true essence cannot be gauged from an online profile alone.
But there’s hope on the horizon for our woes with online dating: video profiles. They offer a game-changing solution to these longstanding problems and could revolutionize the world of relationship apps.
But let’s be clear, not all video is created equally.
FFWD’s in-app video profiles are designed to bridge the gap between the digital and the real worlds to help you find genuine connections faster than ever before.
Here are just a few reasons why FFWD’s video profiles are a must-have to elevate your dating experience:
1. What You See is What You Get.
With traditional photo-based profiles, the real life person frequently bears little (kittenfishing) or no (catfishing) resemblance to their online profile. It’s like ordering a pepperoni pizza and getting a plain cheese or, worse, a salad. But with FFWD’s in-app video profiles, you get to see the genuine, unfiltered look at the real-life person behind each profile right away. That’s because videos are recorded within the app, with no option to upload any external videos, edit them, or apply filters. So what you see is what you’ll get on your first date. Imagine meeting someone in person and actually feeling confident that they are exactly as they appear on their profile. It makes that first date much more pleasant for both sides, without any surprises or disappointments.
2. Capture More Than Just a Moment in Time.
When it comes to finding genuine connections and truly seeing someone, a picture may be worth a thousand words, but a video can tell you a rich story. With FFWD’s video profiles, you can experience someone’s magnetic energy and effortless charm, and all those real-life quirks. For example, maybe you’ll notice how their eyes light up when they talk about their favorite hobby, or how they absentmindedly play with their hair when they’re nervous. All of these elements combine to create a more complete picture of who the person really is, which can be impossible to glean from a few carefully selected photos.
3. Personality on Full Display.
With video profiles, you don’t have to rely on texts alone to gauge someone’s persona. Instead, you get to see them in action and experience their idiosyncrasies, humor, and energy in a way that photos or texts just can’t capture. Imagine watching someone tell a joke and seeing the cute way they laugh or the twinkle in their eye. It’s like getting a sneak peek of your first date, and it can help you determine if there’s chemistry and attraction beyond the surface level. That way, your first date has more of a second-date vibe!
4. Embrace Your Authentic Self and Be Liked for Who You Are.
With FFWD’s video profiles, you get to put your authentic foot forward and then feel confident that when someone swipes right on you, they’re attracted to the real you, not just your photos or their imagined version of you. Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, whether you have a quirky sense of humor or a unique hobby, you can find someone who appreciates you for exactly who you are. Just be your genuine self and you’re sure to find someone who digs you just the way you are.
5. Discover Hidden Gems.
Consider how many amazing people have you passed up on dating apps because their photos just didn’t do them justice. With video profiles, you can discover hidden gems whose charisma, personality, and vibe are only apparent in real life. Maybe you’ll be surprised to find that someone who doesn’t look like your “type” on paper has a laugh that makes your heart skip a beat. You might just find your perfect match with someone you least expected.
6. Reduce the Likelihood of Ghosting.
Studies have shown that people are less likely to ghost someone when they feel a stronger connection to them. With traditional online dating, it’s easy to get caught up in swiping through photos and one dimensional profiles without really getting to know the person behind the screen. It’s hard to get attached to aviators, which makes it easier to abandon a “match”. Video profiles allow users to see the person behind the profile picture, creating a more authentic and honest first impression. This leads to faster connections within the app and a more successful first date, reducing the chances of subsequent ghosting. Additionally, video profiles help to weed out potential mismatches and duds, resulting in fewer disappointing dates and, therefore, less ghosting.
7. Save Time and Fast-Forward to a Real World Spark.
In today’s fast-paced world, time is our most valuable commodity. Imagine how frustrating it is to spend weeks talking to someone online and hours of prepping for a first date, only to find out they’re not a good match in person. With video profiles, you can avoid that disappointment and fast-forward to someone who’s truly worth your time and energy.
So what are you waiting for? Upgrade your dating life with FFWD’s in-app video profiles. Find genuine connections faster than ever before. Download now.
Why You Should Be Open to Dating Outside Your Type.
You might just learn a thing or two about yourself.
When it comes to dating, we’re all a bit like Indiana Jones. (No, that doesn’t mean you should bring a whip to a first date.) Dating is a dangerous adventure into the unknown, a new experience with new people — and most of us are looking for our own “Holy Grail” person.
When people envision the actual Holy Grail chalice, they picture a fancy golden goblet adorned with fancy jewels and textures. And much like our romanticized version of the sacred chalice, our own Holy Grail romantic partner is, metaphorically, made of gold and adorned with gemstones. That is, we make a mental image of our ideal type and tell ourselves that’s who we should be with.
The funny thing about the actual Holy Grail, if it existed, is that it would have been made of wood. It’s just a wooden wine cup. You probably wouldn’t think anything of it if you saw it.
The point is, sometimes the most special and valuable things aren’t anything like what we expected. That applies to romantic prospects too.
That’s why we advise you to stop “groundhogging” and screw your “type” (ignore the pun, please)—and don’t take that out of context. When you narrow your dating life down to one “type,” you predetermine the things you’re looking for, and they might not always be the right things. If your type is “long, tan, and handsome,” you might end up dating… well, this guy:
Here are just a few awesome benefits of dating someone outside your “type”.
1. You open yourself up to more possibilities.
By ditching your type, you’re expanding your dating horizon exponentially. After all, there are 7 billion people in the world — most of them aren’t going to be your “dream” person, but they might still be amazing partners.
Obviously, you’re going to have some dealbreakers, we all do. You shouldn’t ignore those, but does the color of someone’s hair really matter that much or their height? People are interesting, and the more of them you get to know, the more you’ll learn.
2. You could learn something new about yourself or pick up some new hobbies and interests.
Sure, it’s nice to date someone who enjoys movies as much as you do, but have you ever tried salsa dancing? Sometimes people push you out of your comfort zone, but your comfort zone is holding you back! You know what’s comfortable? Sitting on the couch in a robe with a tub of ice cream. You probably shouldn’t do that every day. Sometimes, we need someone to come along and make us do something new. You might even find something you like.
Oh, and by the way, anything can be fun with the right person. It’s a pretty good test of how compatible you are.
3. Even if it doesn’t work out, you may become more flexible in your dating approach.
Okay, so maybe everything went up in smoke after all, but you may actually learn something about yourself and what’s truly important to look for the next time around. Maybe you realize that someone’s job matters a lot less than how often they make you laugh, or that you need someone who knows how to calm you down when you’re stressed without trying to fix everything for you.
There are probably a million examples, but at the end of the day, the only way you’ll learn what you need is by first learning what you don’t. Give it a try.
Dating different types of people makes us more open-minded and diverse. It opens us up to new experiences that help us learn and grow as people, meaning we can gain new perspectives and develop more empathy.
We can all use that these days.
A Guide to a Post-Breakup Glow-Up: 4 Tips to Help You Heal and Thrive after Heartbreak
How to transform your post-breakup experience into a positive and empowering journey.
Ah, the dreaded “B” word: Breakup. As we all know, the only thing more prevalent in this world than new restaurants in New York City are shattered hopes and broken dreams of romance. We’ve all been there, drowning in our tears, eating tubs of ice cream, and listening to Taylor Swift’s greatest hits on repeat. But let us tell you something – there’s a way to turn that heartbreak into a “glow up” and channel your inner “big ovary energy” to attract love. So grab a drink (alcoholic or not) and let’s get to it.
First things first, let’s talk about what a “glow up” actually is. It’s not just a makeover or a new hairstyle, although those things certainly can help. A glow up is a transformation from the inside out – it’s about becoming the best version of yourself, both physically and mentally. And what better time to start that transformation than after a breakup?
Now, we know it’s easy to wallow in self-pity and binge-watch the Notebook for the fifth time, but trust us, that’s not going to help you move on. So here are our four pieces of advice for turning that heartbreak into a glow up:
1. Cut ties (at least for a little while) with the Ex.
This might be the hardest advice to follow, but it’s also the most important. You need time and space to heal, and that means cutting off all contact with your ex for a while. We’re not saying you HAVE to delete their number or block them on social media (although that can certainly help), but you do need to give yourself some distance. And that includes not cyber-stalking them or obsessing over their every move. Trust us, you’ll feel so much better once you let go.
2. Focus on yourself.
This is the fun part – it’s time to channel all that energy you used to spend on your ex into yourself. Start that workout routine you’ve been putting off, take that cooking class you’ve always wanted to try, or splurge on that new outfit you’ve been eyeing, or maybe take a spontaneous last minute trip. This is your time to shine, so don’t hold back. And to reiterate, a glow up isn’t just about physical appearance – it’s also about improving your mental health. So take up meditation, try therapy, or just spend some quality time with yourself and your “positivity tribe” (more on that below).
3. Surround yourself with your “positivity tribe”.
What is a “positivity tribe” you may ask? Well it’s those friends, family and everyone in between, that makes you feel good about yourself and uplifts you. You know the saying, “you are the company you keep”? Well, it’s true. So make sure you’re spending time with people who uplift and support you. This might mean reconnecting with old friends or joining a new social group. And don’t be afraid to cut out toxic people who bring you down. Remember the mantra: positive vibes only! You deserve it.
4. Stay open to love.
This might seem counterintuitive, but hear us out. Just because one relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean you’re destined to be single forever. In fact, now that you’ve taken the time to focus on yourself and become the best version of yourself, you’re even more ready to find a healthy, loving relationship. So don’t close yourself off to the possibility of a new romance. Embrace your “big ovary energy” and put yourself out there. Check out that new restaurant and try out your flirting skills. Wink at the cute neighbor of yours. Hey, maybe try that new dating app that everyone’s been talking about. You never know what might happen.
And remember, healing takes time, so be patient and kind to yourself. But with a little self-care and a lot of confidence, you’ll be glowing in no time. And maybe even finding that lasting connection sooner than you thought!
Who Pays on the First Date? A Modern Conundrum When Dating the Opposite Sex.
The Battle of the Bill. Navigating the dating minefield.
In the era of modern feminism and calls for gender equality, the question of who pays on a first date has become a sticky and confusing matter.
Traditionally, at least for an opposite-sex couple, the norms of courtship have mandated that the man pay for the first date … in the name of chivalry and generosity.
But in the age of independent women and progressive attitudes, things are not so cut and dried. Some women prefer to split the bill, while others insist on covering the whole thing.
So what’s an upstanding gentleman (or gal) to do? Here is one perspective that we humbly offer for you to consider. Find a balance between modern ideas of equality and good old-fashioned notions.
Perhaps, to diffuse some anxiety around who gets the check, as a default, the person “inviting” should pay. For better or worse, in an opposite-sex relationship, that tends to be the guy. (New York magazine recently hilariously declared “if you penetrate, you pay” in #12 of their Etiquette Rules).
In reality, when it comes down to it, both parties might reach for their wallets at the end of a date, though the woman may be merely making a polite gesture in the familiar first-date-check dance. But as long as the guy’s offer seems firm and genuine, most gals will accept his act of generosity and see it as a positive sign that the date went well.
But what if she determinedly says “I’ve got this” or offers to contribute? Do you battle for the check or let her pay? Gentlemen, may we suggest that you first triple check that this is not still part of her gesture by assuring her you will cover it and thanking her for the offer. Just please don’t say, “Are you sure?” This puts undue pressure on her to agree to halfsies or pay even if she was just just being polite by offering. Don’t do it.
If she continues to insist though, then please respect her wishes. Perhaps you either split the bill or let her pay. If you’re keen to see her again, you can always try to get it next time!
In the end, it’s not about who pays, but about spending quality time with someone you’re interested in getting to know.
So put down your wallet, relax, and let the conversation (and your personality) flow – who knows where it will take you?
Selfish Lovers: Why They’re a *Relationship* Red Flag
Trust us, if they’re not attentive to your needs during sex, they wont be a better partner outside the bedroom.
A selfish lover – ugh! If you’re one of the unfortunate individuals who’ve been with one, you know where we’re coming from. But if you’re lucky enough not to have encountered an egotistical paramour, let us paint the picture.
You’re getting intimate for the first time with a hottie you’ve been dating for [insert some “appropriate” amount of time] and you’re super stoked to finally test out your chemistry in the bedroom. Though first-time sex can be awkward and vulnerable, you’re still bringing your A-game. Most importantly, you’re trying to ensure that your partner is satisfied. But alas, despite the fact that you’ve been attentive and made an effort to please them, they don’t seem to care about your pleasure. They don’t check in, they don’t ask, they don’t seem to care or notice. What.The.Wha?!
Could their selfish actions in the bedroom offer valuable insight into what kind of partner they might be in a relationship, whether casual or serious?
In short, YES – a selfish lover is a significant relationship red flag.
Understanding what’s not a red flag
Before diving deeper, let’s clarify what doesn’t qualify as a red flag. We’re not suggesting that someone is terrible just because your initial sexual encounters aren’t mind-blowing or you don’t reach climax. First-time experiences are typically filled with jitters, insecurities, and trial-and-error. We all have our unique preferences in bed, and it’s natural to be out of sync initially. The good news is that sex often improves with time, practice, and open communication.
Additionally, we don’t mean to cast aspersions on the less experienced lovers. Learning to be great at sex is a journey, and if you encounter someone at the beginning of their sexual exploration, being patient and understanding can lead to a rewarding experience.
Spotting the Selfish Lover
The red flag we’re addressing is the selfish lover who prioritizes their needs and disregards yours. They believe their mere presence should bring you pleasure without making any effort to reciprocate. They love receiving but won’t give. They reach their own satisfaction without inquiring about yours. In this scenario, it’s all about them, and you feel like a supporting actor in your own story.
While this behavior may be an initial faux pas – that is, it’s not characteristic of their normal behavior during sex – beware if their inattentiveness is a pattern that occurs repeatedly. If, for example, the second time around they still only care about their own gratification —- that’s a P-R-O-B-L-E-M. And if you do eventually provide pleasure cues and how-to-satisfy-you instructions and they completely disregard them —- that’s E-G-R-E-G-I-O-U-S!
Why Selfish Sex Matters Beyond the Bedroom
Some may dismiss selfish behavior, thinking, “It’s just sex; they can still be a great partner otherwise.” However, selfish behavior in bed is indicative of how they might behave outside of it.
Selfish sex behavior, beyond causing sexual frustration and insecurity, is an indicator of what type of partner the person will be outside the bedroom.
Sex is a shared experience and both parties should be aware and mindful of each other’s needs and wants. Your partner’s failure to be attentive and care during sex can lead you to feel disconnected, neglected, and insecure. And if they do that in context of the most vulnerable and intimate instances, they’re likely to make you feel the same way in the rest of the relationship. This is the type of partner who will make his own plans without taking you into account; the kind that may apologize when they’ve hurt you but then continues to engage in behavior that causes you pain; the kind that will run out for an errand in the morning while you’re sleeping and comes back without a cup of coffee for you. You know the type.
In the end, with this kind of partner, you’ll feel unfulfilled in all aspects of your relationship. A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, communication, and a willingness to prioritize each other’s happiness. If your partner consistently fails to meet these criteria in the bedroom, it’s a strong indication that they will also fall short in other aspects of the relationship.
So here is our advice: don’t make the mistake of investing your time in a selfish lover. They’ll be just as disappointing with their clothes on. You deserve someone who values your pleasure and happiness as much as their own.
Let’s talk about sex, baby: 3 Tips For Discussing Intimacy with a New partner
Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be…
When it comes to discussing intimacy with a new partner, Salt-N-Pepa’s sex-positive anthem “Let’s Talk About Sex” from the 90s serves as a reminder that conversations around this topic can be uncomfortable yet essential. Addressing subjects such as safe sex, positive and negative aspects of intimacy, and the discomfort that often accompanies the conversation, the song contributed to making discussions about sex less taboo. In this blog post, we delve into the importance of talking about sex with your romantic prospects and offer tips for initiating these conversations.
The Significance of Sexual Compatibility
While online dating profiles commonly feature categories like relationship goals and desire for children, sexual preferences and needs are often too complex to categorize neatly. Nevertheless, the significance of sex in a romantic relationship – whether in a situationship, a partnership, or a marriage – cannot be overlooked. Beyond the physical aspect, sexual intimacy fosters a unique emotional connection with a partner. Thus, sexual compatibility encompassing preferences, desires, and styles becomes pivotal in a fulfilling relationship. Conversely, sexual incompatibility can raise a pink flag.
Initiating the Conversation
So you should definitely be talking about sex with your romantic prospects and you should be doing it early on. We don’t mean to imply that you should list out your kinks and fantasies over a second-date coffee. But just like with other aspects of dating, you should share your basic likes, dislikes and expectations so that you can determine whether you’re on the same page. Even if you don’t discuss it before your first intimate encounter, you should find the right opportunity to articulate (whether non-verbally or expressly) what would make you feel good, especially if you aren’t feeling satisfied. It’s all in how you say it. (By the way, if they don’t listen, it’s a good litmus test for how they’ll be in the relationship).
For example, if you’re looking for a serious relationship and they’re just looking to casually date, you’ll likely end things. But what if you both want to be in a relationship (check ✔) yet when it comes to sex they don’t like foreplay while you get most of your – ahem – “satisfaction” from the buildup (editorial note: that example is from personal experience)? Unless they’re open to fulfilling your desires, you’ll be in a pretty unfulfilling relationship. And even if that’s fine for a little while, the frustration will eventually boil over.
While talking about sex is hard – it can feel even more vulnerable than the act itself – communication about sex is often a gateway to good communication elsewhere in a relationship. Difficult topics are difficult topics and we need to learn to tackle them with our partner.
To make the sex discussion less awkward, establish trust and intimacy first with easier conversations, say about consent or contraception. Then move on to more meatier topics. Ultimately, creating a dialogue about basic sexual needs and expectations opens the door to sharing deeper and more intimate desires and fantasies. And being open and transparent about these things should only help strengthen your relationship.
So have the conversation about sex, baby! You’ll thank us.
Extra! Extra! Here Are the 2 Dating Trends That You Should Follow to Slay Your Dating Life.
Real Talk: Nobody’s out here to play games.
To say the least, the past two years have been weird. We went from our routine in-person interactions to a sudo-metaverse existence in a matter of days. Since then, we’ve been caught in a strange limbo.
Yet it wasn’t entirely all a dumpster fire. Spending a lot of time alone has given us an opportunity to gain some important perspectives. We were forced to re-evaluate our priorities and wants — and it turns out that most of us want something new. New types of jobs, new experiences (including in the bedroom, thanks for the intel, Cosmo), and, for those of us who are single, a new relationship.
But in a post-apocalypse dating world, we aren’t looking for casual, superficial paramours. We’re dating with the intention of finding a meaningful partner.
In other words, the games are done and authenticity and meaningful bonds are on the rise. Daters know what they want — and what they don’t — and they’re branching out of their comfort zones to find it.
So if you’re like us and are ready to ride the post-vaccination relationship boom, here’s a look at two dating trends that we think can help guide your journey.
Fast-Forwarding
No, we didn’t just pick this one for the name — it really is the most significant dating trend expected in 2022. So what is it?
“Fast-forwarding” (also referred to as “hardballing“) means looking ahead and considering whether a potential partner fits into the life you see yourself living in the future.
This lets us avoid wasting time on bad dates and incompatible partners. That means prioritizing emotional availability and focusing less on appearance. And it does seem obvious — looks can easily change, but a supportive partner will be a stable companion for the ages.
Fast-forwarding also normalizes the uncomfortable conversations about what we want, and being far more upfront with our partners about it, sooner. Further, that means being forthcoming as our wants and needs change. Nobody’s expected to be the same person year after year. Life changes us, situations change us, people change us, and our needs change, too.
We always encourage people to be honest about their needs and communicate them with their partners, and the trend of fast-forwarding shows that people are starting to do this from the very beginning.
‘Oystering’
Oystering is another breakout trend going into the new year, but what does it mean?
Well, it’s pretty simple: “oystering” means remaining consciously single — or maybe a better way to put it is “being single, consciously.” No more dating for the sake of dating! Instead, you pursue someone only when you’re ready and you feel a real, emotional connection with them.
Our advice? If you’re just getting out of a relationship, take time to realign yourself, release emotional baggage weighing you, and figure out what you want and need. And when you’re ready to get back out there, do it with intention!
Looking Ahead
Though trends come and go, “fast-forwarding” and “oystering” will likely have staying power in light of what the harrowing last two years have taught us: life’s too short to waste on something that’s purely superficial.
So seek out real connections and genuine relationships that challenge you in the right ways. Partners should open our eyes to new possibilities and experiences.
4 Pieces of Dating Advice From Ted Lasso : What The Comedy Can Teach Us About Relationships.
“I think if you care about someone and you got a little love in your heart, there ain’t nothin you can’t get through together.”
Ted Lasso is one of the most talked about shows to come out in the past year, and for good reason. It’s entertaining, optimistic without being corny (except when it’s trying to be), and endlessly funny. But just being funny doesn’t get a show nominated for 20 Emmys; to do that, it has to have heart.
And boy, does Ted Lasso have heart. Oodles of hearts, actually. Whether it’s dealing with the fallout of Rebecca’s divorce or watching Ted navigate the stormy seas of his separation, the show never stops tugging at the heartstrings.
It also never skips a moment to offer some valuable life lessons like, for example, “You tore your butt. That’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Well, maybe not so much that one.
There are indeed lots of great quotes in Ted Lasso, and you could apply any of them to a million situations in your life, but these are four that stick out as excellent pieces of dating advice.
Roy Kent: “He’s fine. That’s it. Nothing wrong with that. Most people are fine. It’s not about him. It’s about why the f*** you think he deserves you. You deserve someone who makes you feel like you’ve been struck by f***ing lightning. Don’t you dare settle for fine.”
Roy Kent’s fiery, angry, profanity-laced tirade to Rebecca when he meets her “fine” date is incredibly relatable and true.
Let’s face it, if not us, we all know someone who has clearly settled in a relationship, and we don’t mean with respect to their relative physical attractiveness. More of an all-encompassing settling, like when you crave a good steak but instead stop at a McDonald’s because it’s convenient. It’s the kind of settling that makes you feel bad inside and fills you with regret in hindsight.
Keep Roy in mind. Don’t you dare settle for fine.
Ted Lasso: “Be curious, not judgmental.”
This Walt Whitman quote is everywhere, but it’s Ted’s addition that makes it really hit home: “All those fellas who used to belittle me… none of them were curious. They thought they had everything all figured out, so they judged everything. And they judged everyone.”
It’s a nice reminder that none of us have it all figured out. When you’re meeting new people, it’s good to be curious and ask questions but also not to judge them when they open up. After all, there’s probably stuff in your past you don’t love, either.
People change when they’re curious. But judgmental people never learn anything new, and it holds them back.
Be like Ted. Approach new situations—and new people—with curiosity, not judgment.
Jamie Tartt: “Coach, I’m me. Why would I want to be anything else?”
Ted Lasso: “I’m not sure you know how psychologically healthy that actually is.”
We know, Jamie Tartt is a prick, but, you know, he’s got a sad backstory, so it’s understandable? You can’t help but feel for Jamie’s character, despite his egomania. And even though this line is supposed to make us dislike Jamie, Ted’s comment after rings true. I mean, all he asked Jamie was, “Would you rather be a panda or a lion?” and Jamie’s inability to answer a hypothetical without being a total ass probably isn’t healthy, but hey, that’s showbiz, baby.
We don’t get the choice to be a panda, a lion, or anyone else, no matter how much we wish we could be. Really, we could all afford a little more self-confidence à la Tartt. Imagine approaching a situation with that mindset! I’m me. Why would I want to be anything else?
Take it from Jamie. Embrace yourself for who you are, and let pandas be pandas and lions be lions.
Sam Obisanya: “We gave it everything we had. And for me, that is okay because what’s worse is not to try at all. To try is scary, you know, because you can end up losing a lot. But you have to put your heart out there. Otherwise, what’s the point?”
The soft-spoken and wise-beyond-his-years Sam provides this poignant statement at a press conference after his team’s heart-breaking loss to Man City. Also, these words seem to cause Rebecca to finally see Sam in a different light and become open to romance with him.
Sam’s words also ring true for all of us who are too scared to date due to a fear of getting hurt. Yes, it’s brutal if we put ourselves out there and there isn’t a happy ending. But if we don’t open our hearts, we may never experience the mind-blowing possibilities. And without that, what’s the point? So go ahead and take a chance: put your heart out there.
And if you need more heart-filled inspirational moments, go stream season two of Ted Lasso on Apple TV+.