Successful Dating Archives

Is “Happy Valentine’s Day” a Risky Text?

How to navigate Valentine’s Day in a new relationship, or situationship. Valentine’s Day, the holiday that’s either a romantic fairy tale or a commercialized nightmare, depending on your relationship status. But what if you find yourself in the murky waters of a new relationship, or worse yet, a situationship? It doesn’t have to be a […]

How to navigate Valentine’s Day in a new relationship, or situationship.

Valentine’s Day, the holiday that’s either a romantic fairy tale or a commercialized nightmare, depending on your relationship status. But what if you find yourself in the murky waters of a new relationship, or worse yet, a situationship? It doesn’t have to be a big deal, so long as you don’t make it one. Take a deep breath, and buckle up, for FFWD’s guide on how to navigate Valentine’s Day with someone you just started seeing, or someone you’re not seeing that seriously.

First things first, let’s address the elephant in the room: expectations. In a new relationship or situationship, the pressure to make Valentine’s Day memorable can feel like a ton of bricks crashing down on your fragile romance. But guess what? It doesn’t have to be that way. Throw those Hallmark-inspired expectations out the window and embrace the chaos.

Now, onto the logistics. Gift-giving can be a minefield in a new relationship, or in a relationship where you’re not sure where you stand. You don’t want to come on too strong with a grand romantic gesture, but you also don’t want to underwhelm with a last-minute drugstore card. So, what’s the solution? Keep it light, keep it fun, and for the love of all things holy, avoid heart-shaped anything. Opt for something quirky or personal that shows you’ve been paying attention without overdoing it. Bonus points if it’s something you can enjoy together, like tickets to a weird local event or a DIY craft kit.

Next up, the contentious date night. Whether you’re going out or staying in, if you’re seeing your boo, the key is to keep it low-key and low-pressure. Skip the fancy prix fixe dinner and opt for something more casual and spontaneous. Maybe it’s a picnic in the park (weather permitting) or a Netflix binge with all the snacks your hearts desire. The goal here is to have fun and enjoy each other’s company without the stress of meeting unrealistic romantic expectations.

But what if you’re not quite sure where you stand in your new relationship? Ah yes, the infamous situationship. In this case, communication is key. Have an honest conversation about your expectations for Valentine’s Day. Are you both on the same page about keeping it casual? Great, then enjoy a carefree day of whatever floats your collective boats. Are you hoping for something a bit more romantic? Express that too, but be prepared for whatever response comes your way. Remember, a situationship is all about navigating the gray areas, so embrace the uncertainty and go with the flow.

Lastly, let’s talk about the big picture. Valentine’s Day is just one day out of the year, and it’s important not to get too caught up in the hype. Instead of focusing on grand gestures or Instagram-worthy moments, focus on building a solid foundation for your relationship. While it’s more romantic, it is still another date. Whether it’s been two weeks or two months, take the time to really get to know each other and enjoy the journey.

So there you have it, my irreverent guide to navigating Valentine’s Day in a new relationship or situationship. Remember, it’s all about keeping it light, keeping it fun, and above all, keeping it real. Now go forth and celebrate in whatever way brings you joy, whether it’s with heart-shaped chocolates or a marathon gaming session. After all, love (and situationships) are what you make of them.

And if all else fails, there’s always February 15th candy sales to look forward to!

P.S. If you’re looking for someone to celebrate with, download ffwd. <3

7 Pro Tips for Crafting an Irresistible Opening Message on a Dating App

Follow these rules to craft an irresistible intro to guarantee a response.

Opening lines on dating apps are the modern-day equivalent of the age-old “meet-cute” – they can make or break your chances of a great digital first impression. Let’s be real: It’s a cutthroat arena out there, flooded with unoriginal pickup lines, grammar disasters, and AI-crafted messages that lack the charm of human imperfection.

So, what’s a love-seeker to do? Before you hand over your romantic destiny to an algorithm, hold up! We’ve spoken to love gurus, language experts, and yes, even some mom-friends for time-tested advice. Below are seven foolproof tips to help you up your messaging game and make a killer first impression with an irresistible opening message.

1. Personalize Your Way Into Their Heart

The cardinal sin of online dating is sending those clichéd, generic openers like “Hey” or “What’s up?” It looks like a mass message and shows lack of effort, which is much less likely to get a response. Instead, show your interest by personalizing your message. Start with referring them by their name. Science shows that people love hearing their name. But beyond that, use the insights from video profile to tailor your message. A fleeting look, an impromptu laugh, a shared love for artisanal coffee – these are the details that make for a powerful conversation starter. “I noticed you’re into hiking, ever tried [local trail]? It’s a killer workout and a killer view!”. Want more proof that personalization is key? Opening lines that reflect that you’ve invested time in getting to know them as an individual get 80% more responses!

2. Engage & Intrigue But Keep It Brief

Here’s the art part: You want to be engaging but not overbearing. See if they mentioned an interest and ask them a fun question about it. For instance, if they mention that they’re into cooking, don’t just ask about their favorite recipe—challenge them a bit! “What’s your signature dish? And can it beat my unbeatable spaghetti bolognese?” This opens up the conversation for playful banter and a deeper connection.

3. Compliments Go a Long Way But Keep it Classy

Everyone loves a compliment, and it never hurts to know that someone thinks you’re lovely. Just keep it classy. Compliments are like social bubbly—they should be effervescent and just enough to make them feel giddy. Stick to safe zones: smiles, style, and swag.

4. Show ‘Em the Real You, Quirks and All

Authenticity isn’t just a buzzword; it’s the bread and butter of real connections. So feel free to use your quirky language and original style. Bonus points if you can find a way to let your individuality shine through. So if you have a habit of making puns, throw in a cheeky one. “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber. Too much? Maybe. But I’m just here trying to make the ‘beet’ drop.”

5. Opt for Vulnerability rather than AI

Some think if you can’t find something appropriate, to outsource it to AI. Listen, we’re not living in a Black Mirror episode. AI might run our phones, but it shouldn’t run our love lives. Statistics affirm it—83% of people can smell an AI-crafted message a mile away, and they’re not here for it. So if there is nothing particular that jumps out lead with a vulnerability rather than reaching for AI. Something like “I never know what to write on dating apps but you seem awesome and I would really like to get to know you.”

6. Spellcheck is Sexy, Trust

Typos are the bad breath of texting. A quick proofread says “I’m the real deal, and I care enough to hit backspace a couple of times.”

7. Don’t take things too personally

Not getting a response to an opening line can feel like a punch in the gut. But there are a million possible reasons that person didn’t write back, and 99.9% of the time, that has nothing to do with your attractiveness and value as a person.

Online dating is more than the endgame; it’s about the journey, the experiences, and the stories waiting to be told. So gear up, embrace the ride, and get ready to type out messages that will make your matches feel they’ve just found the protagonist in their love story.

3 Science-Backed Reasons Why a Cuffing Season Romance Could be Good for You

Unveiling the surprising benefits of seeking a seasonal relationship.

Ah, the unmistakable signs of the colder season: pumpkin spice lattes, jingling bells, and the sudden vanishing act of your single friends into the cozy embrace of coupledom. It’s the time when love is in the frosty air, from ice skating beneath the starlit sky to those enchanting mistletoe moments and the kisses to usher in the New Year. But what about those of us who find ourselves solo during this chilly epoch? Fret not, for we’ve uncovered the perfect remedy for those winter blues – brace yourselves for cuffing season!

For the uninformed, “cuffing season” refers to the compelling urge to find a cozy winter romance, with the understanding that come spring, you might part ways. Think of it as the more serious cousin of the “summer fling.” Just like other dating buzzwords – breadcrumbing, harpooning, ghosting – cuffing season began as a casual observation and has since blossomed into a full-blown industry. It’s a term that’s made its way from social media quips to Google’s top winter search terms, fueling countless dating columns, this one included. Now, while some might have you believe that “cuffing season” is a frigid wasteland for singles, science is here to set the record straight. So here are three reasons why this dating trend may actually be something we should indulge in.

1. The Age-Old Instinct.

Despite the Gen-Z sounding nomenclature, the concept of cuffing season isn’t a modern quirk; it’s as old as human biology and evolution; it’s deeply rooted in biology and evolution. In the days before central heating systems, surviving the winter months meant gathering around fires and staying indoors to avoid freezing. And what better way to generate some much-needed heat than, ahem, engaging in a little physical activity? If you go far back enough, it was a survival strategy, a bit like saying, “Let’s have a bunch of kids to help with the farm work, and just in case a few succumb to the plague, we’ll have some spares.” Those cold, crop-less months provided the perfect opportunity for procreation. In essence, what we call cuffing season was actually our ancestors’ survival strategy for staying warm and keeping the species alive.

2. Psychology Says So.

For the modern human, cuffing season offers more than just warmth and companionship. Modern psychology suggests that cuffing season offers more than just a warm companion. As the temperature drops, so does our social activity, but we’re naturally social creatures who crave warmth, affection, and connection. Hence, cuffing ourselves to someone for a while can help fill that void, both emotionally and physically. Also, studies show that testosterone levels tend to peak around October, leading to increased desires for physical intimacy. The decrease in sunlight during the winter can also cause a dip in serotonin levels, which can be countered by connecting with someone special. All that is to say that science is practically begging you to find a cuddle buddy this winter.

3. Seasonal Comfort.

Is cuffing season a good thing? Well, it depends on your perspective. Not every relationship has to be a lifelong commitment, and that’s perfectly okay. If snuggling up with someone for a couple of months makes the winter feel a bit more bearable, there’s no harm in embracing it. The key is to ensure that both parties are on the same page and prioritize safety and consent and you follow some basic ground rules. But in the grand scheme of things, whether you’re seeking a winter buddy or just a warm embrace, cuffing season may be your golden ticket to seasonal comfort.

As the winter chill settles in, don’t let the frosty blues get you down. Embrace cuffing season with open arms, and let the warmth of companionship and romance light up your winter nights. Remember, it’s not necessarily about finding a forever love – although you never know; it’s about staying cozy, having some fun, and making a meaningful connection, even if it’s just for this snowy season. So, here’s to a happy and delightful cuffing season! Who knows, maybe your winter love story will continue blooming into spring – after all, love has been known to melt even the iciest of hearts.

Dating in Your 30s and Beyond: A Complete Guide to Finding Love and Authentic Connection in NYC

Whether swiping right or meeting in person, authenticity and patience are your best tools in this exciting chapter of your life.

Dating in your 20s is often a whirlwind of excitement filled with late-night escapades and a vast, ever-growing social circle. The emphasis tends to be on fun and immediate experiences, rather than seeking long-term potential. But as you transition into your 30s and beyond, both you and your dating priorities likely evolve. The late-night club scene loses its allure as responsibilities pile up, friends start settling down, and your internal network diminishes. Yet, this phase comes with its own set of rewarding experiences, challenges, and a greater focus on intentionality and long-lasting connections.

We’re here to remind you that dating in your 30’s and beyond can be wonderful. And here are some tips to navigate this new chapter.

Swipe Right: The Changing Landscape of Dating Apps

In the tech-savvy world we live in, dating apps are no longer just a Millennial playground. Platforms like Bumble and Hinge have paved the way, but there’s a new generation of apps, including FFWD, that cater specifically to the more mature, intentional daters in their 30s. These new entrants in the dating app arena are focused on creating authentic, efficient connections that cut through the ambiguity.

Quality is paramount when dating in your 30s. Consider these tips for making your profile stand out:

- Personality Over Pixels: Your profile should be a reflection of you, not a curated Instagram feed..

- Swipe with Purpose: Swipe only on those who genuinely capture your interest. Quality over quantity is your mantra.

- Be Patient: Don’t be disheartened if you don’t find your perfect match immediately. Patience is key.

Solo in the City: Embrace Your Single Status

While the search for “the one” is exciting, remember that dating in your 30s is not a sprint; it’s a marathon. New York provides plenty of avenues to explore and people to meet.

- Social Clubs and Activities: From social clubs and sports leagues to hobby groups, expand your circle and make connections that go beyond a romantic context.

- Networking Events: Attend industry-specific events. Mixing professional growth with personal connections is always a win-win.

- Volunteer and Give Back: Volunteer. The act of giving back is rewarding and introduces you to people with similar values.

Embrace Video-First Platforms

After a decade of dating burnout and lackluster experiences, we created FFWD as a specialized dating app for those navigating dating in their 30s and beyond. Designed for efficiency and meaningful connections, FFWD offers a mature approach to online dating, reminding you that this chapter can be exhilarating, but with more intentionality.

FFWD stands out as NYC’s first video-dating app for a reason:

- Safety and Convenience: Video dating offers a safe way to connect before meeting in person, allowing you to gauge your date’s appearance and demeanor before meeting IRL. So get ahead on evaluating attraction, as much as you could meeting someone out

- Current and relevant: Our onboarding process requires users to record a fresh video, ensuring that you see the real, current person—not an outdated photo from five years agoensuring that what you see is what you get.

- Get out of the talking phase: Unlike other apps where conversations can drag on indefinitely, FFWD is designed to accelerate the process from matching to meeting, thereby eliminating time-wasting chatter. We prioritize real-life, viable matches – so users’ matches WILL expire if they don’t take their connection offline.

Dating in your 30s and beyond in New York is an exciting adventure filled with opportunities to meet new people. Whether you’re using dating apps, trying to meet people IRL, or embracing the single life, remember that authenticity and patience are your allies. Enjoy the journey, and who knows, you might just find that special someone in the city that never sleeps. So, put on your best smile, create that dating app profile, and step confidently into the Manhattan dating scene. It’s a city of endless possibilities, and your love story might be just around the corner.

Kittenfishing in Online Dating: The Problematic Behavior You Should Look For

We have your guide to spotting deceptive behavior online.

In the ever-evolving world of online dating, new terms and trends emerge, and one that’s been making waves is “kittenfishing.”

It’s a concept that sits somewhere between being genuine and outright deception, and understanding what it is, how to prevent it, and how to detect it is crucial for navigating the online dating scene effectively. FFWD designed our platform around eliminating these kinds of behaviors in favor of authenticity. In this post, we’ll dive into the world of kittenfishing and provide tips on avoiding falling victim to it — no matter what dating app you use.

What Is Kittenfishing?

Kittenfishing is a relatively recent addition to the online dating lexicon, and it refers to the practice of presenting oneself in a slightly exaggerated or misleading way in online dating profiles or social media. While it’s not as severe as catfishing, where someone creates a completely fake persona, kittenfishing involves subtle embellishments or deceptions to make oneself appear more attractive or desirable to potential matches.

Here are some common forms of kittenfishing:

Using Outdated Photos: One of the most prevalent forms of kittenfishing is using older photos that no longer represent your current appearance. This can lead to unrealistic expectations when you finally meet in person.
Selective Information Sharing: One may selectively share information about themselves, highlighting their positive qualities and achievements while downplaying any flaws or negative aspects.
Exaggerating Interests: Some individuals may exaggerate their interests or hobbies to appear more appealing to potential matches.
Misleading Biographical Details: This can include minor age adjustments, height exaggerations, or fabricating professional accomplishments.

Why Do People Engage in Kittenfishing?

Understanding the motivations behind this behavior can shed light on why people resort to it. Some common reasons include:

Insecurity: Individuals may feel insecure about their true selves and believe that presenting a slightly enhanced version of themselves will increase their chances of success in online dating.
Pressure to Impress: The desire to stand out in a crowded online dating pool can lead some people to exaggerate their qualities or achievements.
Fear of Rejection: Daters might worry that if they present their authentic selves, they will face rejection, so they opt for a more appealing persona.

How to Prevent Kittenfishing

If you’re entering the world of online dating or looking to improve your online dating experience, here are some tips to prevent this behavior:

Be Honest About Your Photos: Use recent, unaltered photos that accurately represent your current appearance.
Authenticity Is Key: When creating your online dating profile, be genuine about your interests, hobbies, and achievements. Honesty is an attractive quality.
Open Communication: Encourage open and honest communication with your potential matches. If you sense that someone is being misleading, don’t hesitate to ask questions for clarification.
Trust Your Gut: If something doesn’t feel right or if you suspect someone is kittenfishing, trust your instincts and proceed with caution.

How to Detect Kittenfishing

Here are some signs to watch out for:

Inconsistent Stories: If the information someone provides seems inconsistent or contradictory, it could be a red flag.
Too Good to Be True: If a person’s online persona seems too perfect or flawless, they might be exaggerating their qualities.
Refusal to Share Recent Photos: If someone avoids sharing recent photos or provides excuses for not doing so, it could indicate kittenfishing.
Selective Disclosure: Be wary if someone is selective in what they share about themselves, especially if they only highlight positive aspects.

At FFWD, we’re building against problematic dating behaviors like these. Our platform is designed to curb these behaviors, by requiring users to be authentic in their profile onboarding (using unfiltered video). Download FFWD today to get more authentic connections, more efficiently.

Dating Fatigue: Causes of NYC’s #1 Dating Problem

Discover how to shift the focus from ‘Shiny Object Syndrome’ to meaningful connections, helping you beat dating fatigue and build authentic relationships

The fact is, dating fatigue, is rampant for online daters in NYC. We talked to a lot of people about building a better dating app to address their immediate concerns, but sometimes putting those concerns into solid words and concepts is helpful for developing the tools you need to date better, using an app or not.

First off, let’s start with Shiny Object Syndrome. Shiny Object Syndrome is “a continual state of distraction brought on by an ongoing belief that there is something new worth pursuing. It often comes at the expense of what’s already planned or underway. It’s rooted in that childhood phenomenon of always wanting a new toy, even if your current toy is just fine.” Part of the issue with the world of online dating, especially in NYC, is that it creates a perception of endless volume of potential matches. When faced with an endless volume of potential matches, people 1. Really stretch themselves in looking for the needle in the haystack, causing dating fatigue, and 2. Are more liable to view decent matches (aka people) as disposable, frequently re-start the dating process, also causing dating fatigue.

Both of these behaviors lead to dating fatigue. On the one hand, if you are continually going on date after date with what you perceive to be “the next best thing,” you’re going to exhaust yourself and give up. Our chronic belief that this “next best thing” is abundant and right under our nose fails us – because when we view the dating pool as a kind of rummage bin we can just keep digging through, we miss opportunities to take a second look, or realize how the people we’ve already matched with, or dated, might’ve balanced us, or been worth investing in. Finding the right match isn’t about going on 10 bad dates until you have a good date, over and over again. It’s about finding more viable matches, and truly giving those matches a fair chance, before turning to the drawing board. The “always on the hunt” mentality causes dating fatigue and burnout, leading to bad experiences and volatility.

Shiny object syndrome, and this volume/rummage bin approach to the dating pool is visible in all sorts of dating trends and behaviors. In relationships, it looks like being liable to abandon your partner when faced with difficulty and conflict, because dating is viewed as “easy” and your partner is viewed as “easily replaceable.” Let’s say I’m fighting with my boyfriend – part of me thinks I should just end it right there because I can find someone who will buy me dinner, and not have that specific issue, that NIGHT. Beliefs like these, while convenient, don’t improve the health of our romantic life.

This also plays into the concept of a roster. People love rosters, especially in NYC. Don’t get me wrong, if dating around doesn’t exhaust you that is wonderful. Not everyone feels that way. Rosters relate to shiny object syndrome because they allow people to curate a list of people that half meet their needs, or have some qualities they’re looking for or some that they aren’t, or fill different purposes. When I’ve been single, I’ve certainly been guilty of entertaining a cast of suitors for different reasons – because what I was really looking for was the person that was going to have all those qualities or fill all those roles. When we’re always looking for the next best person, we end up acquiring a whole group of people that fill our needs, but don’t equate to a relationship. Some people find this fun, others exhausting, and rarely are people aware of each other’s rosters.

At FFWD, we’re hoping to design a platform that curbs some of these trends that result in dating fatigue, by encouraging people to go on more meaningful and higher quality first dates. If we were more consistently able to evaluate the viability of a match further in advance, we could prioritize matches that would translate into more meaningful connections, rather than having to scale for a large volume of uncertain matches in hopes of finding the needle in the haystack.

Stop swiping, start fast-forwarding.

Build Your Best Dating Profile in 7 Steps

Unlock better matches with our expert guide to crafting a standout profile

We know the process of creating dating profile, or entering the world of online dating, can be really overwhelming. Whether you’re about to download, or have already onboarded to FFWD, here are our tips for creating the best profile, by you, for you.

1. Be truthful in onboarding.

This might be obvious, but it’s not entirely uncommon to fudge things like age and height when onboarding. While some of these things can later be adjusted, age is usually really hard to go back and fix on a dating app (it usually requires a bureaucratic process, completely recreating your account, and, in some cases, can get you banned). At FFWD, we’ve automatically built into our profile onboarding requirements that protect against misrepresentation (filters, uploading doctored content), but this isn’t the way to go, no matter what platform you’re using. Whether you’re a young 40 misrepresenting a 35 year old, or a 5’9” guy misrepresenting as 6’, there’s nothing worse than starting off a connection on a trail of white lies. If you’re going on dates with the right kinds of people for you, you’ll find that lying about these things proves useless – they’ll like you regardless.

2. Focus on giving potential matches the right insight into who you are

At FFWD, we refuse to believe that people are one, or two, dimensional. No matter what kind of dating app you’re onboarding to, though, it’s important to craft your profile in a way that actually represents you. How would your friends describe you? Your family? Your profile should show a tasteful amount of that. Anyone who’s defining trait is that they’re hot, is boring. While profiles that center entirely on having hot photos might get lots of swipe rights from bots, they’re terrible fodder for genuine connection. We use video to address this issue, but it’s important to use video as a tool to let your true self shine.

3. Is there anything that’s important to you? Let ‘em know.

Most dating apps (ours included) offer prompts and bios to let people express interests, passions, hobbies. Within a scroll of your profile, I should have a rough sense of what you’re about. What do you do for fun (other than eat or drink)? Or, if ALL you do is eat and drink, what’s the best thing you ate recently? Do you cook? Etc. I should be able to ask you, or joke with you, about something other than: work, your pet, or your Sunday morning hangover. When onboarding to FFWD you can video to talk about the things you care about, and start conversations that will actually excite you, as opposed to just small talk.

4. Nostalgia, and quirks, are great fodder for dating profiles

What’s one thing about your childhood or adolescence that you’ve held onto, or look back at and think “what the actual f***?” Let me start with mine. I was o b s e s s e d with Britney Spears as a pre-schooler. Loved a good crop top and lowcut jeans. She was my idol. Now you know something about me that’s a little embarrassing, a little funny, but doesn’t give you a chance to play on my present insecurities. Online dating is weird. It’s funny. It’s fun, and nostalgia and quirks are a great way to let your true colors peak out, without revealing too much.

5. Don’t reveal too much

I don’t want to be reading novellas about your life story. If you’ve lived in 15 different countries, I shouldn’t be forced to memorize them throughout the course of your profile. I don’t need to know about your daddy issues, or other general traumas. Leave some discussion for the date itself. If your profile starts reading like a long form article, or a movie that requires an intermission, it’s time for a re-write. Think of your profile as a trailer for you – you can’t give the whole plot up if you want people to watch the movie.

6. Avoid cliches

You may really love the office. You really might. I’m thrilled for you. So does every other man on every other dating app. While videos profiles on FFWD are designed to eliminate these repeat responses, be conscious of them. Anything about pineapple on pizza, spicy margs, or espresso martinis is also out. Highly replicable answers, while sometimes funny, are an instant “no” because they don’t set you apart from the crowd. If your profile reads like “Hot take… but I like X thing (that literally EVERYONE likes) or I hate X thing (that literally EVERYONE hates), back to the drawing board. A good litmus test is that if you can think of 5-10 people in your immediate circle that are liable to include the exact same prompt, it needs to go.

7. Phone a friend.

Creating an online dating profile can be a really fun exercise, albeit overwhelming, in better understanding what sets you apart from the crowd. If you’re overwhelmed, sometimes the best thing you can do is go thru the process with someone who knows you well (and sees how wonderful you are!) Feedback from good friends on your dating profile is a surefire way to ensure that it’s accurate and representative of the real you.

Online dating gets a bad rap for being a drag, but a lot of that sentiment really comes from the experience of swimming thru bad profiles, and bad dates. At FFWD, we believe that great profiles lead to better dates, and better dating experiences. Whether you’re a seasoned dater, or this is your first pass at dating online, dating success starts in large part with you, your intentions and expectations, and creating a profile that sets you up for better connections. Don’t hesitate to reach out to our team at info@ffwd-dating.com and we can put you in touch with our FFWD network of dating coaches who can help you create a stronger profile, and date better.

Authenticity in Online Dating: Why imperfection guarantees better matches than any filter

Just be you, silly!

If you’ve just emerged from a twenty-year slumber, welcome back to the wild world of today! Things have changed, and one significant transformation is how people present themselves, especially in the realm of online dating. With high-tech phones and photo-editing tools, anyone can create a digital facade that differs dramatically from reality.

But if you’ve been awake all along, you’re probably well aware of this phenomenon. A trip to the r/IntagramReality subreddit shows how many people distort images of themselves on Instagram, sometimes looking like different people altogether. Mostly, though, they’re laughably bad examples of photo editing with distorted backgrounds or frightening, Picasso-ish aberrations.

But even if not that extreme, In today’s digital age, it’s easier than ever to be inauthentic. You no longer have to be yourself, not if you don’t want to be. This is the central premise of the popular TV show “Catfish,” where individuals adopt fake online personas, only to reveal their true selves when they meet in person. This disconnect between online and real-life identities leads to heartbreak, drama, and plenty of entertainment for MTV viewers.

While Catfish is an extreme example, many of us engage in a milder form of this behavior from time to time. It’s called kittenfishing: making yourself seem more desirable on a dating app. It’s not outright lying about your identity, like catfishing, but altering your appearance on your dating profile radically from what you’re like in person (posting photos with deceptive angles or from years ago, lying about age, height or occupation, or wearing hats to cover up baldness) or bending the truth in other ways to seem more desirable (fibbing your occupation or hobbies).

There’s no need to pass judgment here because we’re all guilty of it to some extent. We engage in kittenfishing because we’re chasing the illusion of perfection and seeking validation in the form of likes on dating apps.

However, perfection is something that’s sold to us; it’s not an achievable goal. And being “perfect” doesn’t necessarily make you more desirable. For example, studies have shown that we are more likely to find asymmetrical faces more attractive than symmetrical ones. That is, our perception of what is perfect is subjective and not actually universally appealing.

Rejection, although painful, is a natural part of life. If it makes you feel any better, even those who appear “perfect” face rejection. And while being rejected after being “real” with someone is like being stung by a hive of bees when you have a bee allergy, in the dating context, it’s much better to be rejected early on than to invest time in someone who doesn’t have any interest in the real-life, authentic you!

Everyone deserves love and acceptance for who they truly are. It takes courage to be authentic, especially when facing the possibility of rejection. However, it is also the only surefire way to find someone who genuinely appreciates and loves you for being yourself. When you find that person, it’s like witnessing a fireworks display of genuine connection and understanding.

Being yourself leads to a more honest understanding of who you are, creating a first date experience that is confident and free of mismatched expectations. It increases the likelihood of a better first date, a second date, and a more fulfilling dating experience overall. So, in the world of online dating, embracing your imperfections and showcasing your authentic self can lead to the most meaningful connections.

So. In a world where authenticity shines brighter than any digital filter, being yourself is the compass that guides you to genuine connections, ensuring that your search for love is an unapologetically true and rewarding journey.

The #1 Key Tip for Success in Dating: Putting In The Right Kind of Effort

A sprinkle of effort can create a heap of magic.

Hey there, all you lovely daters. Gather ‘round because we’re about to reveal a major tip for success in dating. So buckle up, grab a snack, and let’s get started

First things first, let’s talk about the most important ingredient in a successful dating life – EFFORT. Yeah, we know, it sounds like common sense, but hear us out. Dating is like baking a cake; if you miss some essential ingredients, it’s not going to turn out the way you want it to.

And just like sugar is essential to cake, effort is crucial to make the dating come out right; without it, your dating life is going to be bland and tasteless, and no one wants that. And we’re not talking about the effort of just swiping right and left mindlessly or simply showing up to dates. We’re talking about putting in the right kind of effort.

We’ve heard people complain about daters being slow to respond to communication, showing up late to a date, looking sloppy, being inattentive to the conversation, not being present by checking their phone, and a whole lot more. But it all boils down to one thing: a lack of effort. Come on, people, try a little harder!

Let’s go back to our cake example. Imagine you have all the ingredients you need to bake a delicious cake, but you realize your flour is expired. You don’t feel like going out to buy fresh flour, so you use the stale stash you have. You’re putting in the effort, but it’s not going to turn out the way you want it to. The same thing goes for dating; if you’re not putting in the effort to make yourself look great or engage in the conversation, it’s not going to turn out the way you want it to.

And, no, the right kind of effort in dating doesn’t involve mere endless swiping or even making grand gestures. It means finding the right person by putting in the time to know them, making plans, being responsive, showing up on time, looking your best, choosing a safe and convenient meeting place, and keeping the momentum going. Be complimentary, communicate consistently, be present, and show your vulnerable side.

And if the effort is not reciprocated, move on. The right person will put in the effort, too. Think of it as a way to gauge someone’s character. If they can’t put in a little effort to build a relationship, they’re not the right partner for you.

So, put on your aprons, people, and get ready to bake some sweet, sweet love! And remember, just like baking a cake, it won’t be perfect every time, but with the right effort, you’ll eventually end up with a dating life that’s as satisfying as a freshly baked cake.

Now go out there, and show the world what you’ve got!

A Guide to a Post-Breakup Glow-Up: 4 Tips to Help You Heal and Thrive after Heartbreak

How to transform your post-breakup experience into a positive and empowering journey.

Ah, the dreaded “B” word: Breakup. As we all know, the only thing more prevalent in this world than new restaurants in New York City are shattered hopes and broken dreams of romance. We’ve all been there, drowning in our tears, eating tubs of ice cream, and listening to Taylor Swift’s greatest hits on repeat. But let us tell you something – there’s a way to turn that heartbreak into a “glow up” and channel your inner “big ovary energy” to attract love. So grab a drink (alcoholic or not) and let’s get to it.

First things first, let’s talk about what a “glow up” actually is. It’s not just a makeover or a new hairstyle, although those things certainly can help. A glow up is a transformation from the inside out – it’s about becoming the best version of yourself, both physically and mentally. And what better time to start that transformation than after a breakup?

Now, we know it’s easy to wallow in self-pity and binge-watch the Notebook for the fifth time, but trust us, that’s not going to help you move on. So here are our four pieces of advice for turning that heartbreak into a glow up:

1. Cut ties (at least for a little while) with the Ex.

This might be the hardest advice to follow, but it’s also the most important. You need time and space to heal, and that means cutting off all contact with your ex for a while. We’re not saying you HAVE to delete their number or block them on social media (although that can certainly help), but you do need to give yourself some distance. And that includes not cyber-stalking them or obsessing over their every move. Trust us, you’ll feel so much better once you let go.

2. Focus on yourself.

This is the fun part – it’s time to channel all that energy you used to spend on your ex into yourself. Start that workout routine you’ve been putting off, take that cooking class you’ve always wanted to try, or splurge on that new outfit you’ve been eyeing, or maybe take a spontaneous last minute trip. This is your time to shine, so don’t hold back. And to reiterate, a glow up isn’t just about physical appearance – it’s also about improving your mental health. So take up meditation, try therapy, or just spend some quality time with yourself and your “positivity tribe” (more on that below).

3. Surround yourself with your “positivity tribe”.

What is a “positivity tribe” you may ask? Well it’s those friends, family and everyone in between, that makes you feel good about yourself and uplifts you. You know the saying, “you are the company you keep”? Well, it’s true. So make sure you’re spending time with people who uplift and support you. This might mean reconnecting with old friends or joining a new social group. And don’t be afraid to cut out toxic people who bring you down. Remember the mantra: positive vibes only! You deserve it.

4. Stay open to love.

This might seem counterintuitive, but hear us out. Just because one relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean you’re destined to be single forever. In fact, now that you’ve taken the time to focus on yourself and become the best version of yourself, you’re even more ready to find a healthy, loving relationship. So don’t close yourself off to the possibility of a new romance. Embrace your “big ovary energy” and put yourself out there. Check out that new restaurant and try out your flirting skills. Wink at the cute neighbor of yours. Hey, maybe try that new dating app that everyone’s been talking about. You never know what might happen.

And remember, healing takes time, so be patient and kind to yourself. But with a little self-care and a lot of confidence, you’ll be glowing in no time. And maybe even finding that lasting connection sooner than you thought!