Tag: first date compatibility

Ah, TikTok, the app that has introduced us to viral dating trends beyond dance challenges. Forget about the ‘Renegade’ and ‘Savage Love’ for a moment; the platform is also a treasure trove for first date advice. Enter the ‘Bird Test,’ a delightful yet insightful trend for evaluating relationship compatibility that has both the internet talking and experts nodding their approval.

What is the Bird Test, Anyway?

The “Bird Test” gained traction after a TikToker Lyss Lyss shared a video that has now been viewed over 287K times. The premise is simple: If you point out something as seemingly mundane as a bird in a tree and your friend or partner shows genuine interest, it’s a good indicator that your relationship has the potential to last.

Lyss Lyss used a real-life example, recalling how she and a friend spent 10 minutes watching a woodpecker and Googling facts about it. It was a trivial moment, yet one that signified the strength and attentiveness in their relationship.

Is the Bird Test just another passing dating trend, or is it solid first date advice? The question was so burning that we had to consult the experts at the Gottman Institute and the results are fascinating.

Expert Opinion: Why the Bird Test is Not Just a Fad

While the “Bird Test” is creating quite a buzz, the concept behind it isn’t new. It resonates with the Gottman Institute’s theory of “bids for connection.” These bids can be verbal or non-verbal, significant or trivial, but they are essentially attempts to connect with someone else. According to relationship experts at the institute, how we respond to these bids can predict the health of a relationship.

In a study that followed couples for six years, the Gottman Institute found that the “masters” of relationships (couples who are together and still happily) turned towards each other’s bids 86% of the time. On the other hand, the “disasters” (couples who aren’t together or are unhappy) did so only 33% of the time. The point? Paying attention to the small things isn’t small at all—it forms the very foundation of a strong relationship.

The Bird Test Really Works: Real People, Real Stories

The reaction online has been overwhelmingly positive, with users sharing their own “Bird Test” experiences that span decades. “30 years ago my girl pointed out a raven. We watched her for half an hour and were absorbed with each other,” commented one TikTok user. Others shared that even after 20 years of marriage, these seemingly trivial moments keep their relationships strong.

But it isn’t always so rosy. Some users admitted their partners or family members didn’t pass the test, leading them to question the future of those relationships. After all, consistent neglect of these bids for connection can create a rift over time.

Why the Bird Test is the Ultimate First Date Tool

The genius of the Bird Test lies in its applicability to crucial first dates, serving as a unique tool for relationship compatibility. In a setting where both parties are often anxious yet keen to connect, the Bird Test offers a unique lens through which to gauge compatibility and mutual interest.

Not only does your date’s reaction serve as a natural gauge for compatibility—showing if they value your thoughts and observations—but it also serves as a real-time ‘litmus test’ for active listening and mutual interest. This is crucial for forming meaningful connections. By drawing your date into a spontaneous moment, you’re not just engaging in small talk; you’re fostering a shared sense of discovery and interest.

How it Works

1. Observe and Share: Spot a bird or something else worth commenting on and share it with your date.
2. Assess the Response: Pay attention to how your date reacts. Do they seem interested? Do they ask a follow-up question or contribute a related story?
3. Engage: If the response is positive, use it as a springboard for more meaningful conversations and deeper connection.

The Versatility of the Bird Test

The beauty of the Bird Test is its incredible versatility. You can deploy it anytime, anywhere:

• During a lull in the conversation
• While sharing a meal or a drink
• During a shared activity or outing

This adaptability means that you can use it as an icebreaker or as a way to reinvigorate a date that may be losing steam.

In a dating world that often prioritizes superficial swipes and snap judgments, the Bird Test offers a refreshing, authentic way to evaluate potential partners. So, the next time you’re on a first date and a bird happens to fly by, seize the opportunity. Not only could it make for an interesting conversation, but it might also offer a small but telling window into your romantic future.

P.S. You can try it with a cutie you found on FFWD <3