The Juice & the Squeeze

7 Pro Tips for Crafting an Irresistible Opening Message on a Dating App

Follow these rules to craft an irresistible intro to guarantee a response.

opening message for dating app

Opening lines on dating apps are the modern-day equivalent of the age-old “meet-cute” – they can make or break your chances of a great digital first impression. Let’s be real: It’s a cutthroat arena out there, flooded with unoriginal pickup lines, grammar disasters, and AI-crafted messages that lack the charm of human imperfection.

So, what’s a love-seeker to do? Before you hand over your romantic destiny to an algorithm, hold up! We’ve spoken to love gurus, language experts, and yes, even some mom-friends for time-tested advice. Below are seven foolproof tips to help you up your messaging game and make a killer first impression with an irresistible opening message.

1. Personalize Your Way Into Their Heart

The cardinal sin of online dating is sending those clichéd, generic openers like “Hey” or “What’s up?” It looks like a mass message and shows lack of effort, which is much less likely to get a response. Instead, show your interest by personalizing your message. Start with referring them by their name. Science shows that people love hearing their name. But beyond that, use the insights from video profile to tailor your message. A fleeting look, an impromptu laugh, a shared love for artisanal coffee – these are the details that make for a powerful conversation starter. “I noticed you’re into hiking, ever tried [local trail]? It’s a killer workout and a killer view!”. Want more proof that personalization is key? Opening lines that reflect that you’ve invested time in getting to know them as an individual get 80% more responses!   

2. Engage & Intrigue But Keep It Brief 

Here’s the art part: You want to be engaging but not overbearing. See if they mentioned an interest and ask them a fun question about it. For instance, if they mention that they’re into cooking, don’t just ask about their favorite recipe—challenge them a bit! “What’s your signature dish? And can it beat my unbeatable spaghetti bolognese?” This opens up the conversation for playful banter and a deeper connection.

3. Compliments Go a Long Way But Keep it Classy

Everyone loves a compliment, and it never hurts to know that someone thinks you’re lovely. Just keep it classy. Compliments are like social bubbly—they should be effervescent and just enough to make them feel giddy. Stick to safe zones: smiles, style, and swag.

4. Show ‘Em the Real You, Quirks and All

Authenticity isn’t just a buzzword; it’s the bread and butter of real connections. So feel free to use your quirky language and original style. Bonus points if you can find a way to let your individuality shine through. So if you have a habit of making puns, throw in a cheeky one. “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber. Too much? Maybe. But I’m just here trying to make the ‘beet’ drop.”

5. Opt for Vulnerability rather than AI

Some think if you can’t find something appropriate, to outsource it to AI. Listen, we’re not living in a Black Mirror episode. AI might run our phones, but it shouldn’t run our love lives. Statistics affirm it—83% of people can smell an AI-crafted message a mile away, and they’re not here for it. So if there is nothing particular that jumps out lead with a vulnerability rather than reaching for AI. Something like “I never know what to write on dating apps but you seem awesome and I would really like to get to know you.”

6. Spellcheck is Sexy, Trust

Typos are the bad breath of texting. A quick proofread says “I’m the real deal, and I care enough to hit backspace a couple of times.”

7. Don’t take things too personally

Not getting a response to an opening line can feel like a punch in the gut. But there are a million possible reasons that person didn’t write back, and 99.9% of the time, that has nothing to do with your attractiveness and value as a person.

Online dating is more than the endgame; it’s about the journey, the experiences, and the stories waiting to be told. So gear up, embrace the ride, and get ready to type out messages that will make your matches feel they’ve just found the protagonist in their love story.

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