Blog Archives | FFWD Dating

Red Flags 101

What’s worth overlooking, and what should have you running for the hills? So much of what we hear about in dating, especially early dating, is red flags. In the first few dates, your date might show some behaviors, or say things, that might make you question them. Our obsession with “red flags” and “icks,” in […]

What's worth overlooking, and what should have you running for the hills?

So much of what we hear about in dating, especially early dating, is red flags. In the first few dates, your date might show some behaviors, or say things, that might make you question them.

Our obsession with “red flags” and “icks,” in some ways might be holding us back. Per Global Dating Insights, 67% of daters polled in 2024 said that you have to get over some initial “icks” in order to get to know someone. So how do we decide which red flags are actually worth heeding warning to? Here are the key things to look out for.

They make you uncomfortable.

It doesn’t really matter what the nature of the discomfort is — whether they’re just plain awkward, make you feel insecure, or explicitly behaving in a way that wigs you out, follow that gut feeling. A good date should be comfortable in their skin, and you should feel comfortable in yours.

2. They bash their exes.

If someone speaks a lot about their ex in early dating, that can be a pretty solid indicator that they aren’t ready for another relationship. If the nature of the way that they speak about past lovers is entirely negative, that can be an indicator of narcissistic tendencies. It’s totally possible to have bad relationships, with bad people, that come to bad ends, but if every person they’ve ever dated has been “crazy” and they’re taking time to tell you about it off the bat, you might reconsider your match.

3. They’re flakey.

Life happens, plans change, people cancel. But if someone is consistently jerking your schedule around, that probably indicates that they don’t have the time or the structure needed to form a meaningful connection. Respecting each other’s time is square one to getting a good connection going.

4. They’re moving too fast.

The timeline of a relationship is collaborative. Whether the person you’re seeing is on a timeline that far too fast, or far too slow, that should be a red flag. An ideal partners should choose to be collaborative – open to communicating about relationship expectations, and willing to abide by them.

Sometimes, we get so caught up in arbitrary red flags like not paying the whole bill, or chewing too loudly, that we overlook some red flags that are much more critical to relationship success. The ultimate rule of thumb with red flags is too follow your gut. It doesn’t matter what your friends, or social media, or anyone might say about how your date didn’t offer to split the check, or open the door for you, if you have a feeling about someone (bad or good!) it’s up to you to follow that.

20 Foolproof Date Ideas for Summer

Summer is statistically shown to be one of the best times to date. Not only are people more likely to get dates off the ground sooner in the summer, but the activities available seasonally make for great dates. We asked our team what some of their favorite summer dates are, and here’s what we found: […]

Summer is statistically shown to be one of the best times to date. Not only are people more likely to get dates off the ground sooner in the summer, but the activities available seasonally make for great dates. We asked our team what some of their favorite summer dates are, and here’s what we found:

Movie
- Planning a date can be tricky, but a movie night is always a winner. It’s low-pressure—perfect for first dates when nerves can be high. With a set timeframe, it’s easy to plan, and you can extend the evening with a meal or drinks if things go well. If not, there’s a natural conclusion to a classic date night.
Cooking Class
- A cooking class makes for a deliciously fun date. It’s hands-on, interactive, and you get to enjoy a meal you created together. Perfect for breaking the ice and bonding over a shared experience, plus you’ll learn new skills and recipes to impress each other with in the future.
Go on a Sports Outing
- A sports outing is an exciting way to get to know your date. Whether you’re watching a game or playing mini golf, pickleball, or another sport, it’s a great mix of fun and friendly competition. It keeps the energy high and provides plenty of opportunities for laughter and bonding. Plus, cheering on a team or sharing playful banter makes for memorable moments.
Take an Art Class
- A paint and sip date is the perfect blend of creativity and relaxation. Enjoy a drink while you show off your inner artist, even if you’re a beginner! It’s a fun, low-pressure way to get to know each other and create lasting memories. And, you’ll have a unique piece of art to remember the experience by.
Picnic in the Park
- Pack a basket with your favorite snacks and drinks, and head to a local park for a relaxing picnic. Enjoy the fresh air, play some games, and maybe even take a leisurely walk afterwards.
Beach Day
- Spend a day at the beach soaking up the sun, swimming, and building sandcastles. Bring a beach ball or frisbee for some extra fun, and don’t forget the sunscreen!
Hiking Adventure
- Explore a nearby trail and enjoy the beauty of nature together. Hiking is a great way to bond and get some exercise, and you might even find a scenic spot for a picnic.
Farmers’ Market Visit
- Stroll through a local farmers’ market, sample fresh produce, and pick up ingredients for a homemade meal. It’s a fun way to support local vendors and discover new foods.
Amusement Park
- Spend a day at an amusement park riding roller coasters, playing games, and indulging in fun fair foods. The excitement and thrills make for a memorable date.
Kayaking or Canoeing
- Rent a kayak or canoe and paddle through a nearby lake or river. It’s an adventurous and peaceful way to enjoy the water and each other’s company.
Star Gazing
- Find a quiet spot away from city lights and spend an evening star gazing. Bring a telescope if you have one, or just enjoy the view with the naked eye.
Cooking Class
- Sign up for a cooking class together and learn how to make a new dish. It’s a great way to bond over food and pick up some new culinary skills.
Botanical Garden Visit
- Take a leisurely walk through a botanical garden and enjoy the beautiful flowers and plants. It’s a relaxing and visually stimulating date idea.
Live Music or Outdoor Concert
- Check out a local band or an outdoor concert. Enjoy the music, dance, and soak up the lively atmosphere. Head to Eventbrite to see what’s happening in your area.
Zoo or Aquarium
- Visit a zoo or aquarium to see and learn about different animals. It’s an entertaining and educational experience.
Bike Ride
- Go for a bike ride along a scenic trail or through a charming neighborhood. It’s a fun way to explore and get some exercise.
Food Truck Festival
- Find a food truck festival and sample a variety of delicious foods. It’s a casual and tasty way to spend an afternoon or evening.
Mini Golf
- Challenge each other to a game of mini golf. It’s a light-hearted and fun activity that brings out a bit of friendly competition.
Garden Tour
- Visit a public or private garden that offers tours. Enjoy the beautiful landscapes and maybe even get some inspiration for your own gardening projects.
Hot Air Balloon Ride
- For a truly unforgettable experience, take a hot air balloon ride. Enjoy breathtaking views and a unique perspective of your surroundings.
Outdoor Yoga
- Join an outdoor yoga class or set up your own yoga session in a park. It’s a relaxing and healthy way to spend time together.
Historical Site Visit
- Explore a nearby historical site or museum. Learn about the history and culture of the area while enjoying each other’s company.

Looking for someone to date with? Try Fast Forward!

Ask An Expert: Understanding Your Values: The Key to a Meaningful Connection

Each month, we submit some of your questions to our expert and transformational coach, Erika Lynn. This week, she gives us a highlight into the first key to success in any relationship. “In the fast-paced world we live in, it’s easy to get swept up in the whirlwind of daily demands and lose sight of […]

Each month, we submit some of your questions to our expert and transformational coach, Erika Lynn. This week, she gives us a highlight into the first key to success in any relationship.

“In the fast-paced world we live in, it’s easy to get swept up in the whirlwind of daily demands and lose sight of what truly matters to us. I’m talking about your value system. Over many years of coaching and counseling people I have learned that a misaligned value system is the number one reason relationships fail.

Finding a fulfilling relationship requires knowing who you are, what matters to you, and living that truth. Your values are your compass to navigate both your life, and your relationships with clarity and confidence, guiding you to make choices that match your core beliefs.

Crave honesty? Live that truth. Even when it’s uncomfortable. You will necessarily only attract people who share that.

So if you don’t know your values, find out. Knowing them is not just about self-awareness, it’s about creating a life that is deeply satisfying and aligned with your true essence. And in the end, successful relationships are about mutuality- sharing the values that matter most to you both.”

Have a question for Erika? Submit Here

Learn more about Erika at https://www.erika-lynn.com/

Beyond the Swipe: AI’s Expanding Role in Dating

AI & Dating: Is it really worth the hype? In a reality reminiscent of a Black Mirror episode, AI clones are going on simulated dates to gauge compatibility. While this notion seems fit for a dystopian future, this is actually a reality and AI’s impact on dating is even more profound, helping us have conversations […]

AI & Dating: Is it really worth the hype?

In a reality reminiscent of a Black Mirror episode, AI clones are going on simulated dates to gauge compatibility. While this notion seems fit for a dystopian future, this is actually a reality and AI’s impact on dating is even more profound, helping us have conversations and pick matches. It’s time to peel back the layers of hype and explore what AI truly brings to the dating table.

Understanding AI in the Dating Scene

The use of AI spans a wide range of options from enhancing user interactions (innocuous) to improving matching algorithms (beneficial) to AI companions (dangerous). Here’s a breakdown:

Enhanced Profiles: AI tools analyze user’s photos and highlight ones that are likely to garner interest. Some platforms are also using AI to flag potentially deceptive profiles in an attempt to mitigate ‘catfishing’ and fraud.
AI-Driven Conversations: Some dating apps incorporate chatbots that help break the ice or keep a conversation going. These bots use natural language processing to generate responses that are contextually appropriate, albeit generic.
AI Matchmakers: These systems use machine learning algorithms to analyze user data—interests, behaviors, and preferences—to suggest potential matches. The premise is that AI can discern patterns and compatibilities hidden to the human eye.
Virtual Companions: Farther on the fringe are AI companions, programmed to provide emotional engagement and conversation. While intriguing, these are more about simulating companionship than fostering genuine human connections.

Is AI Worth the Hype?

Despite these advancements, AI’s effectiveness in dating is questionable. The core of dating—human connection, chemistry, and emotional understanding—is nuanced and deeply personal. AI, at least with its current capabilities, largely operates on quantifiable data and pattern recognition, which can only skim the surface of human emotions and subtleties. It can suggest a match based on similar interests or demographic data, but it cannot comprehend emotional compatibility or the chemistry that sparks between people in real-life interactions.

AI-driven suggestions often push towards standardization, where unique personal traits might be overshadowed by data-driven averages. This can discourage users from exploring relationships that could be fulfilling outside algorithmic predictions.

Lastly, the extensive data required to fine-tune AI for better predictions raises significant privacy issues. Users may be uncomfortable with the level of personal information processed by these platforms.

In all, despite technological advancements, AI is not close to mimicking the complexities of human relationships. The essence of dating goes beyond algorithms and predictions. It involves understanding, growth, and the instinctive human ability to connect on an emotional level. Real connections are born from mutual vulnerability and emotional compatibility—areas where AI still has significant ground to cover.

Want a break from AI? Explore real connections on FFWD.

Cracking the Code: 5 Tips to Get More Second Dates out of your First Dates

Because second dates are the real litmus test to see where things go… So, you’ve survived the nerve-wracking ordeal of a first date and lived to tell the tale. But let’s be real—first dates are like trial runs for a job interview, except instead of impressing a potential employer, you’re trying not to spill spaghetti […]

Because second dates are the real litmus test to see where things go…

So, you’ve survived the nerve-wracking ordeal of a first date and lived to tell the tale. But let’s be real—first dates are like trial runs for a job interview, except instead of impressing a potential employer, you’re trying not to spill spaghetti sauce on your shirt. The real challenge? Securing that elusive second date. Fear not, we’re here to give you some insight on how to increase your chances of scoring more second dates.

Dating can feel like a revolving door, of meeting people and dead ends. Getting on first dates is a great first step, but there’s a lot more power in moving things beyond the first date. Some people do get stuck on first date after first date, whether that’s because they just aren’t finding people they mesh with, or because they aren’t giving themselves enough time to make an informed decision before calling it quits. Getting seconds dates isn’t just about upgrading from coffee to cocktails; it’s about diving deeper, exploring common interests, and seeing if there’s potential for something more than just a fleeting encounter. In short, they’re the gateway to more substantial connections, and opportunities to better assess if you want to keep seeing each other.

If you’re on a treadmill of first dates, here are some therapist informed tips to get off — and on to more second dates.

Be Yourself, Unapologetically: Let’s face it—pretending to be someone you’re not is about as appealing as a soggy sandwich. Embrace your quirks, flaws, and unique personality traits. If you tiptoe through a date trying to conceal surface level parts of yourself, you’re never going to be able to be fully present. Be unapologetically you, and watch as the right people are drawn to you like moths to a flame.
Listen and Engage: Here’s a wild concept — actually listen to what your date has to say. We know, groundbreaking stuff. Engage in meaningful conversations by asking thoughtful questions, sharing your own stories, and refraining from checking your Instagram feed every five minutes. Show genuine interest in your date’s life, and resist the urge to zone out and plan your grocery list in your head. If you’re that bored, they probably aren’t your person — but out of consideration, you should come into the date with an open mind, and avoid being dismissive.
Choose the Right Setting: There are great venues for getting to know someone, and not-so-great venues for getting to know someone. We usually opt for a coffee or drinks for a first date, because it’s a great way to get to talking without worrying about what you’ll eat or if you’ll share or spilling on yourself. But, if you crave something more fun and out of the box, choose a date location that sparks excitement and sets the stage for memorable moments. Putting efforts into dates is an indirect way of putting effort in a potential connection..
Mind Your Manners: The term “etiquette” is outdated, but it does matter on a date. People who are perceived as kind, and also polite, are more likely to advance to second dates. No one likes people who are rude to waiters, or worse, rude to their date — and least of all, chew with their mouth open. A first date is a trial run in spending one on one time with someone else, so avoid inflicting discomfort.
Follow Up Like a Champ: So, you survived the date without any major disasters—congrats! Now it’s time to seal the deal with a killer follow-up. Send a text or call your date to express your gratitude for the awesome time you had and your interest in seeing them again. Keep it light, playful, and genuine.

Remember, dating is supposed to be fun, so don’t take it too seriously. Embrace the ups and downs, learn from each experience, and above all, stay true to yourself. Who knows? With a little bit of luck and a whole lot of charm, you might just find yourself on the road to a great connection. Looking for someone to spark magic with? Download FFWD.

Is “Happy Valentine’s Day” a Risky Text?

How to navigate Valentine’s Day in a new relationship, or situationship. Valentine’s Day, the holiday that’s either a romantic fairy tale or a commercialized nightmare, depending on your relationship status. But what if you find yourself in the murky waters of a new relationship, or worse yet, a situationship? It doesn’t have to be a […]

How to navigate Valentine’s Day in a new relationship, or situationship.

Valentine’s Day, the holiday that’s either a romantic fairy tale or a commercialized nightmare, depending on your relationship status. But what if you find yourself in the murky waters of a new relationship, or worse yet, a situationship? It doesn’t have to be a big deal, so long as you don’t make it one. Take a deep breath, and buckle up, for FFWD’s guide on how to navigate Valentine’s Day with someone you just started seeing, or someone you’re not seeing that seriously.

First things first, let’s address the elephant in the room: expectations. In a new relationship or situationship, the pressure to make Valentine’s Day memorable can feel like a ton of bricks crashing down on your fragile romance. But guess what? It doesn’t have to be that way. Throw those Hallmark-inspired expectations out the window and embrace the chaos.

Now, onto the logistics. Gift-giving can be a minefield in a new relationship, or in a relationship where you’re not sure where you stand. You don’t want to come on too strong with a grand romantic gesture, but you also don’t want to underwhelm with a last-minute drugstore card. So, what’s the solution? Keep it light, keep it fun, and for the love of all things holy, avoid heart-shaped anything. Opt for something quirky or personal that shows you’ve been paying attention without overdoing it. Bonus points if it’s something you can enjoy together, like tickets to a weird local event or a DIY craft kit.

Next up, the contentious date night. Whether you’re going out or staying in, if you’re seeing your boo, the key is to keep it low-key and low-pressure. Skip the fancy prix fixe dinner and opt for something more casual and spontaneous. Maybe it’s a picnic in the park (weather permitting) or a Netflix binge with all the snacks your hearts desire. The goal here is to have fun and enjoy each other’s company without the stress of meeting unrealistic romantic expectations.

But what if you’re not quite sure where you stand in your new relationship? Ah yes, the infamous situationship. In this case, communication is key. Have an honest conversation about your expectations for Valentine’s Day. Are you both on the same page about keeping it casual? Great, then enjoy a carefree day of whatever floats your collective boats. Are you hoping for something a bit more romantic? Express that too, but be prepared for whatever response comes your way. Remember, a situationship is all about navigating the gray areas, so embrace the uncertainty and go with the flow.

Lastly, let’s talk about the big picture. Valentine’s Day is just one day out of the year, and it’s important not to get too caught up in the hype. Instead of focusing on grand gestures or Instagram-worthy moments, focus on building a solid foundation for your relationship. While it’s more romantic, it is still another date. Whether it’s been two weeks or two months, take the time to really get to know each other and enjoy the journey.

So there you have it, my irreverent guide to navigating Valentine’s Day in a new relationship or situationship. Remember, it’s all about keeping it light, keeping it fun, and above all, keeping it real. Now go forth and celebrate in whatever way brings you joy, whether it’s with heart-shaped chocolates or a marathon gaming session. After all, love (and situationships) are what you make of them.

And if all else fails, there’s always February 15th candy sales to look forward to!

P.S. If you’re looking for someone to celebrate with, download ffwd. <3

Lights, Camera, New Video Profile: 6 Tips for Crafting a Standout FFWD Scene

Creating a dating profile, especially a video profile, can be overwhelming — especially if you’ve never done it before. Here are our tips. Welcome, FFWD community! Whether you’re a seasoned member of platform or a newcomer exploring the vast world of FFWD, it’s time to take your Scene to the next level. In a sea […]

Creating a dating profile, especially a video profile, can be overwhelming — especially if you’ve never done it before. Here are our tips.

Welcome, FFWD community! Whether you’re a seasoned member of platform or a newcomer exploring the vast world of FFWD, it’s time to take your Scene to the next level. In a sea of dating apps and dating profiles, making yours stand out is the key to sparking connections. FFWD does some of the work for you in a scene, but here are some tips to help you go the extra mile. Discover how to make your FFWD Scene pop with these top tips for creating a standout video profile.

Before You Record:

Dress to Impress: Before hitting that record button, take a moment to ensure you’re date-ready for your Scene. A nice shirt, a genuine smile, and a positive attitude can go a long way in charming potential matches. Remember, first impressions matter, even in the world of online dating.

Location, Location: Choose your recording location wisely. Whether it’s a cozy corner at home or your favorite outdoor spot, make sure the lighting is good, and there’s minimal background noise. A clutter-free and visually appealing background will enhance the overall quality of your video profile and make you the focal point.

Angles Matter: Avoid unflattering angles and skewed perspectives by positioning your phone at eye level or slightly above. Recording with your phone in your lap may not give the best impression. Think of it as a virtual date across a table – a more natural and appealing view is sure to capture the attention of your potential matches.

While Recording:

Let Yourself Shine: Make your FFWD Scene truly yours by answering questions that resonate with you the most. With a plethora of prompts to choose from, select the ones that allow your personality to shine. Authenticity is key, so be yourself and let your unique qualities stand out.

Depth Over Brevity: When answering prompts, go for depth over brevity. Providing thoughtful and thorough responses, rather than short one-word answers, gives potential matches more insight into the real you. Share anecdotes, express your passions, and let your personality shine through the screen.

Press Stop When Finished Recording: Once you’ve shared your thoughts and insights, remember to hit ‘stop recording’ to avoid those awkward end moments. A clean and polished finish adds a professional touch to your video profile, showcasing your attention to detail.

Remember:

As you embark on the journey of perfecting your FFWD Scene, remember that the goal is not just to capture attention but to foster genuine connections. The nuances of your personality, the warmth of your smile, and the authenticity in your responses all contribute to a more profound and meaningful impression.

Creating a standout video profile is an ongoing process. Embrace the opportunity to record and re-record, allowing your FFWD Scene to evolve alongside you. Let inspiration strike, and don’t shy away from updating your answers to reflect where you’re at!

As FFWD introduces new questions, consider them as invitations to showcase different facets of your personality. Stay curious, be open to exploration, and use these prompts as a canvas to paint a richer picture of who you are. Your video profile is a dynamic representation of your genuine self, and by keeping it fresh, you invite potential matches to join you on the exciting adventure of getting to know each other.

In a world where first impressions are often digital, your FFWD Scene becomes a virtual doorway to your world. So, take a moment to revel in the creativity, authenticity, and effort you’ve invested in crafting a profile that stands out. Sleigh your FFWD Scene with confidence, let your personality radiate, and may your profiles continue to sparkle with the promise of meaningful connections in every swipe. Here’s to a dating journey filled with authenticity, excitement, and the joy of discovering and being discovered.

Download FFWD, and refer a friend for good karma <3

Revamp Your Love Life: Dating Resolutions for a Fulfilling 2024

Dating Resolutions may be cliché, but these tokens of advice from dating experts are helpful in changing up your dating game any time. As we bid farewell to the old and embrace the new, it’s the perfect moment to set some dating resolutions that will transform your love life in 2024. Whether you’re single and […]

Dating Resolutions may be cliché, but these tokens of advice from dating experts are helpful in changing up your dating game any time.

As we bid farewell to the old and embrace the new, it’s the perfect moment to set some dating resolutions that will transform your love life in 2024. Whether you’re single and ready to mingle or in a committed relationship looking to add some spark, these resolutions are designed to bring positive changes. Join us on a journey of self-discovery, meaningful connections, and a renewed approach to dating.

Body:

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone: In the realm of dating, familiarity can breed stagnation. Break free from routine and try new activities or explore different dating platforms. Whether it’s attending social events, joining clubs, or testing out fresh dating apps, embracing the unknown can lead to unexpected connections and exciting adventures.
Prioritize Self-Love: A crucial resolution is to prioritize self-love. When you value and care for yourself, you radiate confidence and become a magnet for positive and healthy relationships. Take time for self-care rituals, focus on personal growth, and surround yourself with positivity. A strong foundation of self-love sets the stage for fulfilling connections with others.
Communication is Key: Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. Resolve to express your feelings openly and listen actively to your date. Honest and transparent communication builds trust and understanding, fostering a deeper connection with your potential partner.
Quality Over Quantity: Instead of pursuing an endless stream of dates, shift your focus to quality connections. Invest time in getting to know someone on a deeper level before deciding if they’re the right match for you. Meaningful relationships thrive on genuine connections, so aim for depth rather than quantity.
Learn from Past Experiences: Reflect on past relationships to gain valuable insights. Identify patterns, recognize what worked, and understand what didn’t. Use these lessons as stepping stones for personal growth, making more informed choices in your romantic endeavors.

Tips to Keep Your Resolutions:

Set Realistic Goals: Crafting resolutions that align with your values and are achievable will keep you on track throughout the year. Realistic goals are more likely to be maintained, leading to sustainable changes in your dating life.
Create a Support System: Share your dating resolutions with friends or family who can offer encouragement and keep you accountable. Having a support system adds a layer of motivation and makes the journey more enjoyable.
Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge and celebrate small victories along the way. Whether it’s a successful date or a personal breakthrough, recognizing progress boosts motivation and reinforces positive habits.
Stay Positive: Approach dating with a positive mindset. Even in challenging situations, focus on the lessons learned and the potential for growth. Positivity attracts positive energy, creating a conducive environment for meaningful connections.
Be Patient: Finding the right person takes time. Be patient with yourself and the process. Enjoy the journey and the opportunities it brings to learn more about yourself and others.

Embarking on a journey of dating resolutions is an exciting way to usher in the new year. Whether you’re seeking a new flame or nurturing an existing one, these resolutions and tips will pave the way for a fulfilling and love-filled 2024. Embrace change, celebrate progress, and get ready for a year of transformative connections. Pro Tip: You can find it all on FFWD. Download, and refer a friend for good karma. Cheers to the adventure that lies ahead!

Understanding Ghosting: The Ultimate Guide to Navigating the Silent Exit in Modern Dating

When It’s Okay, Why It Happens, and Coping Strategies

Imagine this: you’re all geared up for what looks like a promising connection. You’ve been messaging someone who sparked your interest, fantasizing about cozy coffee dates and leisurely strolls in the park. But then, as if by some cruel magic trick, they disappear. Welcome to the perplexing world of ghosting in modern dating – a phenomenon more confounding than a Houdini act, minus the applause.

In today’s digital dating realm, a staggering 80% of online daters have felt the chill of being ghosted. It’s become almost a rite of passage: 70% get ghosted before even meeting face-to-face, 25% after a few casual meet-ups, and 10% after a couple of months into what seemed like a promising relationship.

But what’s really behind this vanishing act? Is it ever justifiable? Understanding the dynamics behind ghosting could be the antidote to coping with its sting.

When Ghosting Isn’t the Worst Idea Ever

Ghosting, while usually a big no-no, sometimes tiptoes into a murky zone where it’s somewhat understandable:

Safety First: Trust your gut. If you feel threatened or unsafe, ghosting transforms from a social faux pas into a necessary act of self-preservation. In such scenarios, being ‘Casper the Safety-First Ghost’ is not just acceptable, but advisable.
Early Game Ghosting: During the initial chit-chat phase online, if the spark just isn’t there, ghosting becomes an unspoken yet mutual exit strategy. Think of it as the digital equivalent of politely excusing yourself from a lukewarm conversation without the awkwardness of a formal goodbye.
Mutual Meh: Sometimes, after a first meet-up, both parties share a tacit understanding that the chemistry just isn’t there. This mutual disinterest often leads to a ghosting that feels more like a silent nod of agreement to move on, each with a quiet wish of good luck to the other.

Inexcusable Ghosting: Peeling Back the Layers

Beyond the more normalized ghosting circumstances, the reasons behind ghosting are multifaceted and often complex:

Confrontation, No Thanks: Let’s face it – some people are just terrible at confrontations. The mere thought brings a wave of anxiety, making ghosting seem like a less daunting path.
Digital Distance: The virtual barrier of online dating can sometimes reduce the perceived emotional stakes, making it easier to ghost someone you’ve only interacted with through a screen. A richer, more authentic connection method (ahem, video profiles), can foster deeper emotional connections, potentially reducing the likelihood of ghosting
Choice Overload: With an overwhelming array of options in the online dating world, ghosting can inadvertently become a method for managing too many proverbial balls in the air.
Covert Narcissism. This one’s particularly troubling, often emerging in deeper relationship stages. Beware of the narcissist’s playbook: they’re often the ones who lovebomb (shower with affection at the outset) and then ghost, using this tactic to maintain control and incite a chase – a glaring red flag of emotional manipulation.

Coping with Ghosting: Strategies for Moving Forward:

The impact of ghosting goes deep, often leading to self-doubt and emotional turmoil. Understanding the reasons and having strategies can help mitigate the damage:

It’s Not You, It’s Them: Remember, ghosting is more about the ghoster’s hang-ups than your worth or deficiences. Think back to the various ghoster archetypes – the confrontation-shy, the decision-paralyzed, and the emotional manipulators.
Self-Care Squad: The cumulative effect of even casual ghosting can wear you down, so prioritizing your emotional health is key. Never underestimate the power of leaning on friends, indulging in self-care, or seeking professional support. Healing begins with acknowledging your feelings and taking steps to care for your emotional wellbeing.
Advocate for Honesty: Fostering a culture of genuine, open communication in the digital dating sphere can play a pivotal role in reducing ghosting. Embracing vulnerability and honesty from the get-go can cultivate deeper, more sincere connections and diminish the ghosting phenomenon.

In the ghastly world of ghosting, understanding the why and how can equip us to handle these sudden disappearances with resilience and less self-reproach. Championing a culture of honesty and forthright communication, even in a digital age, can potentially transform ghosting into the dating misstep it should be. At FFWD, that’s our guiding light, and we invite you to join us in turning this vision into reality.

The Bird Test: TikTok’s Viral Relationship Compatibility Test and Why It’s the Ultimate First Date Tool

Ah, TikTok, the app that has introduced us to viral dating trends beyond dance challenges. Forget about the ‘Renegade’ and ‘Savage Love’ for a moment; the platform is also a treasure trove for first date advice. Enter the ‘Bird Test,’ a delightful yet insightful trend for evaluating relationship compatibility that has both the internet talking […]

Ah, TikTok, the app that has introduced us to viral dating trends beyond dance challenges. Forget about the ‘Renegade’ and ‘Savage Love’ for a moment; the platform is also a treasure trove for first date advice. Enter the ‘Bird Test,’ a delightful yet insightful trend for evaluating relationship compatibility that has both the internet talking and experts nodding their approval.

What is the Bird Test, Anyway?

The “Bird Test” gained traction after a TikToker Lyss Lyss shared a video that has now been viewed over 287K times. The premise is simple: If you point out something as seemingly mundane as a bird in a tree and your friend or partner shows genuine interest, it’s a good indicator that your relationship has the potential to last.

Lyss Lyss used a real-life example, recalling how she and a friend spent 10 minutes watching a woodpecker and Googling facts about it. It was a trivial moment, yet one that signified the strength and attentiveness in their relationship.

Is the Bird Test just another passing dating trend, or is it solid first date advice? The question was so burning that we had to consult the experts at the Gottman Institute and the results are fascinating.

Expert Opinion: Why the Bird Test is Not Just a Fad

While the “Bird Test” is creating quite a buzz, the concept behind it isn’t new. It resonates with the Gottman Institute’s theory of “bids for connection.” These bids can be verbal or non-verbal, significant or trivial, but they are essentially attempts to connect with someone else. According to relationship experts at the institute, how we respond to these bids can predict the health of a relationship.

In a study that followed couples for six years, the Gottman Institute found that the “masters” of relationships (couples who are together and still happily) turned towards each other’s bids 86% of the time. On the other hand, the “disasters” (couples who aren’t together or are unhappy) did so only 33% of the time. The point? Paying attention to the small things isn’t small at all—it forms the very foundation of a strong relationship.

The Bird Test Really Works: Real People, Real Stories

The reaction online has been overwhelmingly positive, with users sharing their own “Bird Test” experiences that span decades. “30 years ago my girl pointed out a raven. We watched her for half an hour and were absorbed with each other,” commented one TikTok user. Others shared that even after 20 years of marriage, these seemingly trivial moments keep their relationships strong.

But it isn’t always so rosy. Some users admitted their partners or family members didn’t pass the test, leading them to question the future of those relationships. After all, consistent neglect of these bids for connection can create a rift over time.

Why the Bird Test is the Ultimate First Date Tool

The genius of the Bird Test lies in its applicability to crucial first dates, serving as a unique tool for relationship compatibility. In a setting where both parties are often anxious yet keen to connect, the Bird Test offers a unique lens through which to gauge compatibility and mutual interest.

Not only does your date’s reaction serve as a natural gauge for compatibility—showing if they value your thoughts and observations—but it also serves as a real-time ‘litmus test’ for active listening and mutual interest. This is crucial for forming meaningful connections. By drawing your date into a spontaneous moment, you’re not just engaging in small talk; you’re fostering a shared sense of discovery and interest.

How it Works

Observe and Share: Spot a bird or something else worth commenting on and share it with your date.
Assess the Response: Pay attention to how your date reacts. Do they seem interested? Do they ask a follow-up question or contribute a related story?
Engage: If the response is positive, use it as a springboard for more meaningful conversations and deeper connection.

The Versatility of the Bird Test

The beauty of the Bird Test is its incredible versatility. You can deploy it anytime, anywhere:

During a lull in the conversation
While sharing a meal or a drink
During a shared activity or outing

This adaptability means that you can use it as an icebreaker or as a way to reinvigorate a date that may be losing steam.

In a dating world that often prioritizes superficial swipes and snap judgments, the Bird Test offers a refreshing, authentic way to evaluate potential partners. So, the next time you’re on a first date and a bird happens to fly by, seize the opportunity. Not only could it make for an interesting conversation, but it might also offer a small but telling window into your romantic future.

P.S. You can try it with a cutie you found on FFWD <3