The Juice & the Squeeze

Ladies, gentlemen, and all other lovely persons in between and beyond, gather ‘round because we’re about to drop some truth bombs on you. 

Are you ready? 

Here it goes: effort is the key ingredient to a successful dating life. We know, we know, you’re probably thinking, “Well, duh,” but hear us out.

You see, dating is a lot like baking a cake. If you’re missing key ingredients, it’s not going to turn out the way you want it to. And let us tell you, effort is the sugar in this recipe. Without it, your dating life is going to be bland and tasteless (yeah, no pun).

Now, we know some of you may be thinking, “But I’ve put in so much effort – I use dating apps, I swipe, I make time to go out on dates. Yet I’m still single!” And to that we say, perhaps you’re not putting in the right kind of effort. 

Recently, we’ve been hearing a lot of daters talking about common themes of folks being slow to respond to communication, showing up late to a date, not being thoughtful about the location or neighborhood where you meet, looking sloppy, and not being present by checking their phone.  There is more where that came from, but if we reduce it to a common theme, it all stems from a lack of right kind of effort.  People, try a little harder.

Let’s go back to our baking example.  You gather all the key ingredients but realize that your flour is expired. You really don’t feel like going out to get a fresh batch so you just use the stale stash. And sure, you’re putting in the effort by measuring out the flour and adding it to the mix, but it’s not going to turn out the way you want it to. 

Similarly, if you’re going on a date, but you’re not putting in the effort to make yourself look presentable (nay, great!) or you’re not putting in the effort to be engaged in the conversation, it’s not going to turn out the way you want it to. 

And, no, the right kind of effort in dating doesn’t mean endless swiping or grand gestures. The right effort means putting in the time to find the right person and not just mindlessly “like” matches; it means making plans; it means taking care to make a good first impression by showing up on time, looking your best, and selecting a convenient and safe place to meet; and it means putting in the work to maintain the momentum of a potential budding relationship.  Be complimentary.  Appreciate that someone is interested in you and showing up in the best version of themself for you.  For a possibility.  For a chance at love.  So think small gestures of thoughtfulness and follow-through. Channel honesty and vulnerability. Communicate consistently.  Be engaged.  Be present.

And, yes, effort is not always reciprocated, in which case, on to the next. But what a good way to gauge a person. If they can’t put in a little effort into building a relationship, they’re probably not the right partner anyway. 

But don’t take our word for it, go out there and put in the effort yourself. And remember, just like baking a cake, it’s not going to turn out perfect every time, but with the right effort, you’ll eventually end up with a delicious and satisfying dating life.

So, put on your aprons and get to work, folks! And if all else fails, at least you’ll have a cake to eat.